Information about the private use of Internet, Cd player, mobile phone and home computer in the UK

The graph shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in the UK.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

access to the technology in United Kingdom from 1996 to 2003

My writing:

The graph provides information about the private use of Internet, Cd player, mobile phone and home computer in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

The general trend of the four elements was upward: Cd player had the highest percentage with approximately 60% among all in 1996/97 and rose gradually up to 80% over the next six years. The lowest percentage in 1996/97 belonged to internet access which experienced a significant rise to above 40% during the period.

Between 1996 and 1999 mobile phone and Pc trends were going upward while just after 1999 there was a remarkable increase of the access to mobile phones to around 70%, compared to home computers use which rose gradually to nearly 60%.

It is noticeable that the access to mobile phones experienced the biggest increase in terms of percentage, becoming the second technological device most used, after cd player, among households in the UK.

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Alessandro, you have to always remember that you will lose points for writing single sentences instead of complete paragraphs. In order to score higher in all 4 sections of scoring, you must make sure to write at least 200 words in the overall essay. Each paragraph must be comprised of 3 sentences each. If you don't write at least 3 sentences each, you will not be able to prove your command of the English language in a written sense since you will be writing only the simplest of sentences and will appear to not even be trying to develop complex sentences and paragraphs, which offer you a higher score consideration. While your essay accurately summarizes the graph, the analysis portion is lacking based on all considerations. The complex sentences would have come from the proper analysis of the more intricate points of the essay. There were no representations of the overlapping comparisons per year or year on year, which could have set up a more complex representation of the essay and allowed you to be considered for a higher score evaluation.