Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Information about water use worldwide and water consumption in Brazil / Congo - twentieth century

nightowlirene 1 / -  
Oct 17, 2019   #1

The line chart characteristics

The line chart compares the use of water in terms of 3 distinct sectors around the world from 1900 to 2000. The table illustrates the water was consumed by citizens in Brazil and Congo in 2000.

It is clear that the most amount of water was used by the agriculture sector compared to the other sector during the research period. Each Brazilian used a considerably higher figure of water consumption in comparison with the water consumption of each Congo person.

In 1990, there was the highest figure of water consumed by agriculture, at about 500 km3 while just slightly 1 km3 of water was used by the industrial sector. At the same time, the domestic use of water was the least figure, at nearly 0 km3. In 2000, a remarkable increase of utilized water was seen in 3 sectors. Agriculture remained the sector using the most amount of water, at nearly 3000 km3 whereas approximately 1200 km3 of water was supplied for the industrial sector. Meanwhile, the figure for domestic use experienced a gradual growth to 400 km3 over the period shown.

In 2000, the number of citizens in Brazil was 176 million and each Brazilian consumed a high amount of water, at 359 m3. By contrast, Congo had a significantly lower figure for population and only 8 m3 was utilized by per person.

tandat 1 / 2  
Oct 17, 2019   #2
i think that " illustrate" is not for table. you should use show or provide.
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Oct 19, 2019   #3
Hello. Welcome here. Hopefully, this feedback will help you in your writing endeavors. If it does, do not hesitate to come again to the forum. We're always glad to have new people coming around!

I would like to mention first that including the graph or chart will truly be more helpful for people who are reviewing your essay. Next time, try not to miss that part out.

Firstly, I think that the first two paragraphs could have been merged to create a more conclusive introductory paragraph. Doing this will certainly boost the way that your essay appears, considering it will make you look packed with the necessary knowledge and skills.

Furthermore, the transitions that you had in the first half of your third paragraph also can be improved. Try utilizing more solid transition words to evade having to merge your thoughts into one small cluster (remember that doing this runs you at risk of having run-on sentences).

Home / Writing Feedback / Information about water use worldwide and water consumption in Brazil / Congo - twentieth century