Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Informing about the latest criminal news and its impact on young members of society - IELTS 2



cpt_b33m0 1 / 1  
Feb 28, 2021   #1

detailed criminal description on newspaper or tv



There is currently a contentious argument over whether the specific description of illegal acti on mass media should be strictly controlled. Imo the drawbacks outweigh the merits.

There are considerable benefits to inform the crime in societal news feeds. The report shall alert ppl of the dangers that may be lurking out there, thus the security level shall be raised and reinforced with a substantial mindset and equipment, which always helps. It is also likely to benefit the government due to the fact that TVs and online news feeds are the best mediums to pervade preventive measures against such crimes, including launching an anti-crime public campaign and enforcing new laws.

However, there are potential drawbacks to notify the detailed criminal description widely. The primary issue is that too much insight into the wrongdoing may influence fragile teenagers whose minds are vulnerable and lack ample exp, thereby those children are tempted to follow suit, thus breaking the law and such juvenile delinquencies are too often to be overlooked. Along the same line, lengthy description of vicious crimes can simply provide probable lawbreaker with viable offensive skill and methods from practical contemporary crimes, which will dim the thin line differed a sane person and a corrupted being, and this is indeed unmanageable and compromising adversity which can irritate the sharpest mind.

In conclusion, the overwhelming detriments have overshadowed whatever benefits of universally updating the latest criminal news in such precision as the youngsters are more likely to gravitate toward a crime career and the wrongdoers are acquired plenty of meticulous criminal technique and grounded deeper in the hole of atrocity. Given this situation, it seems that the government should offer incentives to cultivate ppl's sense of justice, as well as regulate the stream of information especially in the field of crime and the like in all kinds of mediums.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Mar 1, 2021   #2
Okay, I won't even get into the nitty gritty of the mistakes that your writing presentation has. The very first error that the examiner will see, and will react to with a failing score for your C&C, LR, and GRA sections, will be the way that you wrote the essay. You are using SMS vocabulary for an academic paper. That is an automatic fail.

Do not treat this like some sort of joke. If you want to study in an English language institution, in a place of formal academic learning, you need to leave your social media speak behind, or you will never make it. Nobody who uses text speak in the IELTS or TOEFL test has ever passed. Believe me when I tell you this. No matter how long your essay is, when it is improperly presented, you lose your chance to show the examiner that you have what it takes to pass the test. All because you chose to treat the test like your social media account instead of a test that has your educational and professional future riding on it.
OP cpt_b33m0 1 / 1  
Mar 3, 2021   #3
thank you very much, I just write those sms-styled because I want to shorten it, quite lazy obliviously, therefore thank a lot for your help, did changed my mindset


Home / Writing Feedback / Informing about the latest criminal news and its impact on young members of society - IELTS 2
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳