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Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower - personal, local, or national


domisuri 1 / -  
Feb 17, 2016   #1
Please correct and judge about this essay

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower" Steve Jobs. That's a quote that has been a huge impact in my personal and professional life. If you follow in another footstep of another company or person you will never generate any impact; or you will stay halfway of where you planned to be. Think about companies that have created something so unique in the market that everybody knows what it is like "Google" or "Apple". This is a topic that I'm passionate about. This is why I will pursue the field of advertising; not only to sell the idea of a product, but also for social issue campaigns that want to let their voices to be heard.

I was born in a country where advertising has become more powerful the last decade, however when I was eight-years old I remember nothing. I don't remember a national song that will stick in my head or a commercial. What I remember is when I was 15-years old I was going through the internet and I saw a picture of a campaign that said "victims are people just like you and me." It was a Christian campaign to abolish torture that had a poster in the back of a bus seat with hands tied together. This makes me realize how powerful advertising is at attracting consumers or people psychologically, visually and culturally.

At Pace University I know that I will become a successful advertiser due to the program they have to offer. The advertiser program will give me strong leadership skills to become the best I can be. It can provide strong analytic skills, so I can give my service in different work fields. Also, by analyzing my strengths and weakness, I will learn more about myself and I will also be able to understand the different markets that exist. To become a successful advertiser, I will need all the skills that the program at Pace University has to offer.

AmitJ - / 3 1  
Feb 17, 2016   #2
Hey domenica suri

Here are my suggestions , I have highlighted some sentences too as I am not able to figure out what does that mean. If you can go through them once again to explain them more.

That's a quote that has beenhad a huge impact in my personal and professional life. If you follow in another footstep of another company or person you will never .................

This makesmade(you need to be focused on one tense, are you talking in past or present? ) me realize how powerful advertising was at attracting........

1. That's a quote that has been a huge impact in my personal and professional life. If you follow in another footstep of another company or person you will never generate any impact; or you will stay halfway of where you planned to be

.
2. I don't remember a national song that will stick in my head or a commercial.

Doesn't this line sounds incomplete?? ending in word commercial?

Also, do mention your prompt too when writing an essay for feedback. Good luck.
ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 18, 2016   #3
If you follow in THE footstep of (...) any impact (with coma) or you will stay halfway of where you planned

... social issue campaigns that want to let their voices to be heard.

however when I was eight-years oldeight-years-old I remember

torture that had a poster on the back of a bus
mita23 34 / 37 3  
Feb 18, 2016   #4
If you follow in footstep of another company or person you will never generate any impact; or you will stay halfway of where you have planned to be.

Think about companies that have created something so unique in the market that everybody knows what it is like "Google" or "Apple".

The example of companies that have created something unique in the market in which everybody knows them are "Google" and "Apple"


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