Writing Task 1 Ielts - the inquiries volume

The line graph illustrates the inquiries volume of the Tourist Information Office in one city over the course of six-month starting in 2011.

Looking at the graph, it is evident that while there was a downward trend in the inquiries numbers received by telephone, a steady increase was seen in the rest of inquiries receiving methods. Out of 3 communication ways examined, in-person inquiries registered the highest rank.

In January, the company received over 800 queries by telephone. This figures gradually increased to 1000 in May and surged 1600 afterwards. The change in in-person queries mirrored that of telephone one, reaching a peak of roughly 1900 in June and registering the highest figures out of 3 categories after 3 months.

A reverse pattern was witnessed in email inquiries. This communication method experienced a consistent drop in the first 3 months, halving to around 360 in May. This figure had no significant fluctuation afterwards.

The essay you have written is only composed of 153 words. While that does go over the minimum 150 word requirement, it is not long enough for you to gain considerable scores in most of the scoring sections. The reason behind the short essay is the way that you write run-on sentences most of the time and have paragraphs that do not meet the suggested 3-5 sentence presentation. Your analysis is too short. It is almost non-existent beyond the reporting aspect of the presentation. You should not be afraid to lengthen your paragraphs. It is only by writing 5 sentences, at the most, that you will gain a proper scoring consideration for all rubic sections.

Good job. But your essay seems concerned about meeting the word count. Those can cause you not to express yourself to the reader fully and you can lose some points along the line. Noticed some missing words, they might not worth much points, but can gradually add up.

eg. Out of 3 communication ways examined

I will add "the" = "Out of the 3 communication ways examined"

Good luck.