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Intel Reinvents Itself to Stay King in a Changing World


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 16, 2016   #1
Intel is one of the biggest computer company around the world. Nowadays there are a number of similar factory as Intel and as the result, Intel have faced a global competition. In order to win that competition, Intel is reflecting its product to prove that it can build cheaper chips that can accelerate any modern technology. In the market, people moved from only classic CPU to ordering Internet services and by the time, Internet services have been encouraged to be faster.

To reach their ambition, Intel have established some cooperation with other companies. One of the companies is Altera, a programmable chip company. Intel spent 16.7 billion US dollars to gain it. As the result, it helps the Microsoft search engine, inside Bing. Another company is Nervana ,a startup building chips, which helps Intel to analyze plenty data. Also Intel cost 408 million US dollars for Nervana. This actions have been taking to ensure that their Internet services become faster to hold on both online services and post-CPU workloads.

wired.com/2016/08/intel-remakes-changing-world/

kobayakawa07 8 / 13  
Aug 16, 2016   #2
Hello Eka, I am very glad to know you here. Your summary is well-structured, and it has good coherence. But, I suggest you to improve about the use of punctuation.

1st paragraph
Nowadays, there are a numbera great number of similarfactoryfactoriesas Intel, like Intel.andA s the result, Intel have faced aas global competition.

Be careful if you want to use 'are', you have to use 'plural' in the following words. Don't forget to give many examples if you use 'such as'. I think it is better to use 'as' when you explain about role of intel in worldwide.

In the market, people moved from only classic CPU to orderingorder Internet services, and by the time, Internet ...
2nd paragraph
ThisThese actions have been taking to ...
Don't forget to use 'plural' word if you want to explain plural

Thank you very much. Feel free to give me advice too. I hope we can learn English together.
azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 16, 2016   #3
hi eka!
here are some suggestions and corrections for your essay.

In order to win that competitionachieve winning

it can build cheaper chips that can accelerate anyother modern technologyies

Also Intel costs 408 million US dollars for Nervana

This actions have been takingtaken to ensure that their Internet ...


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