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International aid for the development plans for developing countries

Chuni lal 2 / 6  
Jun 5, 2018   #1
Many developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

the economic gap between rich and poor countries is huge, any solution?

To minimise the economic gap and help in the development of the poorer nations mostly world level organizations like UNO, do support the developing nations financially and in many other ways. Few individuals say that financial help is valuable while others emphasize on practical help and guidance, Both the conditions are important according to the situation of developing nations.

Financial Support is very crucial and valuable for any nation to survive and support the countries economy, to minimise the poverty level in the nation and provide the basic necessity to people it is very important for a country to be strong economically, Organizations like United nations support these poorer nations to keep the surviving conditions in a better way by providing loans from world bank. Recently, United Nations have decided to forgive the loan interest of the poor nation, Nigeria to support them to sustain the life during the crises period.

Looking at the second view, support in the practical terms like situations of war, natural disasters or epidemic disease are very critical situations for any nation to survive and struggle in these conditions, during this period suppport from international organizations are quite valuable for any nation, mostly we have observed during these crises time mostly all the nations come together to support their friendly nations, for an instance recently during the epidemic of AIDS, South Africa was mostly affected by the infection, during that period France made a tremendous effort to bring back South africa by providing medicinal support and medical staff to cure from the infection and eradicate the virus.

In conclusion, in my opinion, both the views are equally important for the survival and development of nations, It is mostly dependent on the circumstances for the nation.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Jun 6, 2018   #2
Hi, I don't think you did a very good job on differentiating the two options the prompt gives. I think the problem lies with the prompt a little bit - what is the difference between "financial aid" and "practical aid"? To me, cash is pretty darn practical - probably the most practical aid there is. I guess you have divided them into regular financial aid over a period of years vs providing immediate short term aid during a crisis. I guess this is a valid demarcation, but it would be better if you could make it more clear that this is what you are basing your discussion on. Plus you muddy the waters when you talk about assistance to Nigeria during a crisis period, as I can't tell the difference between this and the other crises you talk about in your second body paragraph. Here are some other specific suggestions:

the development of the poorer nations mostly {this mostly sounds vague and ambiguous to me - is this work mostly done by world level organizations, or is this what world level organizations mostly do?} world level organizations like UNO, do support

Few {make sure to understand the big difference between "few" and "a few" - "few" has a negative connotation meaning very few, while "a few" is more neutral, like "several", and is what I think you mean here} individuals say ... others emphasize on {or "put the emphasis on"} practical help ... Both the conditions {these are not really "conditions", more like strategies} are important ...

{I would begin with a transition phrase here} Financial support is very crucial

nation to survive and [is critical to] {you needed something here, because your sentence meant the nation will survive and support, but it is the financial assistance that does the supporting} support the country's economy, to

provide the basic necessities to people it is very important ... {this is a run-on sentence} Organizations like the United Nations support

to keep thelivingconditions

providing loans from world bank.{either "the World Bank" or "world banks" - you probably mean the former}

Nigeria to support them in sustaining the life during the crises period. {this is a bit unclear - what is "the life" and it would be helpful to say what the crisis was}

Looking at the second view, {I would restate what the second view is - don't make the reader have to work so hard! } support in the practical terms like situations of war, ... in these conditions, {maybe this is describing what the "second view" is, but it is unclear to me. "In the practical terms" would mean what assistance is provided, but then you describe the situations where aid is needed - "terms" and "situations" are different things here. Plus, "support" is vague - the prompt is talking about the difference between financial aid and expert advice - which one of these are you talking about here?}

... to support their friendly nations, {"their friendly nations" sounds odd and unclear - do you mean their allies?}

... affected by the infection, {"disease" sounds better here}

... medical staff to provide a cure for the infection ...

... on the circumstances of the nation.
rubychautran 10 / 27 7  
Jun 7, 2018   #3
Hi there. I have some opinions about your second paragraph. You see, you didn't really provide any supporting reason for the claim that financial support is important. All you did was stating that it is important, then listing some examples. I think you need to learn to develop your ideas, try to think in a logical way to answer the question "why". This skill is the most crucial because without it, your essay would totally lack content. I think learning this skill should be your first task in preparing for IELTS.

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