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IELTS task 2: International aid - opinion essay



serbinax 7 / 18  
Feb 18, 2020   #1
Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantages people like unemployment and homeless in their own country.

To what extent do u you agree or disagree?



Opinions are divided on whether governments should provide international aid while having unemployed and homeless people in their own countries. I strongly believe that all countries should provide help in any form they can to those countries that are in need of it.

First of all, help should not always come in a monetary form. While developed countries could plan a regular financial support in their annual budget, developing countries could assist with medical or food supplies for impoverished countries. Additionally, regular assistantship could create more governmental jobs for people who would be responsible for implementing such projects. Bringing population's attention to such issues could help build the trust towards the government too.

Furthermore, some impoverished countries could not survive without international aid with children suffering the most. In the case of natural disasters, like earthquakes and tsunamis, all countries should step forward and help the affected countries. Without international aid these countries would burst into more poverty, which would eventually lead to a humanitarian crisis. Strengthening of diplomatic relationships can be named as another advantage of an international aid.

On the other hand, government resources could be aimed to the most vulnerable parts of the society, but, as history shows, unemployed and homeless proportion of the population is always present even in the developed countries. If all countries stop providing aid to the underdeveloped countries, it would create not just economic crisis within that particular country, but also further problems like illegal migration and criminal activities.

In conclusion, I reiterate my opinion that international aid must be obligatory to all countries in any form possible because we are all humans and we must give a helping hand in the time of need.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Feb 19, 2020   #2
Your prompt paraphrase is not very clear. That is because you wrote it as a run-on sentence instead of individual sentences. Remember, every paragraph needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences of varying lengths, before it can be considered a complete paragraph. Let me show you a sample of how you could have framed the paraphrase:

People have been contemplating the way that the state has been contributing financial help to other nations. Since there are indigents in their own country, they believe that overseas aid should not be given. I strongly believe that this stand should be supported for several reasons.

Separate each topic as presented in the original by giving it a solo sentence. That is how you keep the clarity in your presentation and ensure that it will be easily understood by the reader.

For the conclusion, you should have repeated the original prompt before you repeated your opinion. This serves as the summary of the total discussion so it should contain:

- Original topic
- Your response
- The reasons
- Closing sentence

Again, try to avoid run-on sentences. You want to score well in the GRA plus C&C sections too right?
OP serbinax 7 / 18  
Feb 19, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you very much, I will work on my introductions and run-on sentences.
Yes, I want to score well on all my writing sections.


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