Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


International effort in solving Enviromental problems - My final try before IELTS



zchen1987 4 / 2  
Oct 26, 2010   #1
My final try before taking the IELTS exam, welcome to any criticism and suggestion.

Topic:

Environmental problems are so big today that they cannot be solved by individual countries or individual people. We have reached the stage that the environmental problems must be solved for international effort. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Answer:

In present day and age, humans are confronted with grave environmental problems which, I believe, call for full international cooperation.

The first reason is that environmental issues are not confined to one single country. Problems such as freshwater crisis, ozone depletion and acceleration of species extinction have negative impacts on most countries. Therefore, solving these problems is a great responsibility which should be shared by all nations and demands concerted efforts.

Another reason is that tackling environmental problems is far beyond one or two countries' competences. Take the global warming which may cause serious consequences to human beings in the future for instance, it is impossible to pick out one country which can solve this problem solely by itself. Only with the joint concentration and cooperation from all countries can this be resolved to an ultimate extent.

It is conceded that international cooperation may involve some practical problems. The most likely one is that differing attitudes and approaches in countries could possibly lead to inefficiency in solving these problems. However, this is only a poor opposition against international cooperation and no way to dispose it. Instead, countries should make efforts to break the ice and so reach a consensus.

Single nation and individual also have their roles to play in preventing the environment from deteriorating. Governments with their political wills can promote the awareness of citizens through education and propaganda; and individuals can choose to live a low-carbon life by using less plastic bags, taking public transport instead of driving private cars and eating less food travelled through long distance, etc.

To conclude, collaborating in tackling environmental problems is imperative under current situation. In the meantime, individuals are also obligated to do their parts. Only by joint efforts of both individuals and countries can these problems be best solved.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 26, 2010   #2
Let's put that first sentence together with the paragraph that follows it so that it all becomes one paragraph.

This is very well written!! You have great mastery of language. This is great--->The most likely one is that differing attitudes and approaches in countries could possibly lead to inefficiency in solving these problems.

Your sentences are straightforward and agile. :-)

I see that Dumi gave a god suggestion, but I also think this way of writing it would be okay: Problems such as freshwater crisis, ozone depletion and acceleration of species extinction have negative impacts on most countries.-----Dumi's way is more detailed, but your way is not incorrect.


Home / Writing Feedback / International effort in solving Enviromental problems - My final try before IELTS
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳