The International Graduate Students in some Canadian Universities

The International graduated students in Canadian Universities are revealed by the bar chart and it is differentiated by some Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. The chart had seen significant changes in all categories in 2006 with New Brunswick as the highest level. However, only Alberta had fallen almost 2 points.

By the 2001's, New Brunswick had a position at 7, but the next period saw the extremely climb almost 12. The second place had been obtained by New Scotia and British Columbia. Nevertheless, only British Columbia had shown significant changes by 6 points. However, the only decrease had experienced by Alberta, roughly 6 points in 2001 and 4 in 2006. Then, Manitoba, and New Foundland and Labrador had indicated the same trend over the period.

Overall, the International graduates in some Canadian Universities came from New Brunswick presenting the most noticeable changes, while Alberta showed the different trend. This chart illustrates that more student had graduated from Canadian University from 2001 to 2006.

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Devi, always aim to deliver as complete a summary overview as you can when you write your introduction. In this case, you overview would have been better formed and would have been more informative if you had included a summary listing of the provinces in Canada that were included in the bar graph. That way the reviewer will get an idea as to where the information came from and what it might possibly present.

... and it is... as AT the highest level.

By the 2001's ... at NUMBER 7... SAW IT climb TO almost 12... The s Second place had ...AT roughly 6 points...had indicated...

...New Brunswick , presenting ... showed the A different ...more studentS had graduated from Canadian University UNIVERSITIES ...

Devi, you need to rework the conclusion to make it stronger. Your conclusion is composed of only 2 sentences which, although highly developed, needs to have additional information in a new sentence in order to fit the 3 sentence requirement of the essay. By the way, "Canadian University" is the wrong format of writing the words because the implication is that the universities are located in Canada and therefore should be written in plural form as "Canadian universities". You can note the example that I made in the corrections above.