International sport event. Discuss both views

Topic:
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.

Discuss both views and state your opinion

While some agreed that an international event brings plenty of advantages to its host country, others believe this has the disadvantage. In my opinion, I consider both arguments have their merits, however despite the drawback, it is still much beneficial to the country of such event.

First, a sport event is considered a tool used for supporting the economic development of a country. This means that the country can utilize an event for encouraging more spending, which enhances the economic consumer price index (CPI). For example, the events such as the World cup and Olympics are competitively fought for the right of hosting among countries, since these can bring billions of dollars to the country by attracting tourists across the world to travel in and spend a huge amount of money for various types of service.

On the other hand, it is evident that an event can also create detrimental effects on the country. In fact, there are obvious risks caused by the event which could threaten the health system of the country. For instance, in the Covid pandemic, the communicable disease seems hard to be prevented from infection, especially in a sport event where a lot of people carrying disease from different regions gather in the same place. In this situation, the country needs to put a lot of effort to avoid from badly impacted by the event.

In conclusion, although the negative impacts might happen due to the event, I still believe that hosting a sport brings many benefits far more than the disadvantage

Note the opinion basis as provided. One opinion is represented as,


. While the other side considers,


. This represents the need for a third person discussion consideration twice in the essay. That means, both points of view cannot be presented solely on the writer's opinion as you do now.

Consider each good reason for the public opinion, discuss.Then consider if you agree or disagree with the opinion and add it to the presentation. Try to successfully explain why you oppose or support it. Make sure the correct pronouns are used to represent the discussion. At this point, only the writers general opinion is present. This will recieve a score but, due to the inaccurate format, cannot recieve full marks in the TA section.

@besthope In the introduction you write 'While some agreed that... '. It is unnecessary to use Past simple here.
Also, you forgot a comma after 'however' when writing 'however despite the drawback'.