the devastated environment
Due to the prosperous development of tourism, the rate of people traveling around the world exhibits an upward trend over time. However, owning to this problem, it results in some negative impacts on the environment.
Many countries rely on tourism to underpin their economy, which makes local shops and businesses more thriving. While tourists lead the detrimental effects on the environment at the same time such as water pollution, air pollution, and vandalism. For example, there is a famous country for its heritage and gorgeous scenery, Thailand. Because of the successful publicity from the tourism bureau, the local shops and restaurants benefit from a large number of travelers who come from all over the world, especially in the peak season. Unfortunately, some travelers not only throw the garbage randomly also damage the relics intentionally. In addition, a soar increasing demand for transportation attributes to traffic congestion, making carbon dioxide emissions much more than before. These problems let the government pay much cost in the preservation and encountering the dilemma between economy and environment.
Nevertheless, these adversities can be solved and taken care of it. The government must take action.The legislative can introduce the legislation for the travelers, making the fine for throwing crashes or the behavior of damaging environment. Also, each local government can advocate the tourists taking public transportation to experience more local people's life. Furthermore, local tourism cannot be overexploited to attract more vacation goers.
In conclusion, in spite that sightseeing can learn cultural differences and more cross-cultural communication with each other, as long as the environment be devastated in a long term and can't afford it, we have to pay the price to reconstruct.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 owning
Word choice error. Owning refers to possessing something. Owing, the proper word to use, refers to a cause or causes as in "because of" or "due to". The student has a problem with homophones that must recieve immediate attention to avoid the same error going forward. These sorts of word mistakes have serious negative word and grammar scoring issues.
However, owning to this problem, it results in some negative impacts on the environment.
Please provide a discussion topic response for each question next time to help you meet the discussion clarity requirements of the task. A summarized discussion at this point with the overall score.
While tourists ...and vandalism.
Incomplete sentence presentation. Opening the sentence with "While " indicates a reason or result of actions will be presented. There was no results presentation so this will confuse the reader due to the lack of reference clarity.
... randomly, but also damage the relics intentionally
... government pay much {high, higher} cost in the preservation ...
... can be solved and taken care of it > tackled
...The legislative by can introducing the legislation for the travelers and making ... You have a nice vocabulary and the only thing I would recommend you is to be attentive and to spend 3-5 minutes after the essay to eliminate mistakes.
Owning to
...detrimental effects to the environment
'For example,... scenery, Thailand' --> Thailand, for example, has the former problem...
not only throw the garbage randomly but also
soared demand/increasing demand
make the government pay ... and encountering
and taken care of it
... for the travelers, fining for
Remove ''the government has to take action''
Also, some sentence are a bit unclear
@ann0712
I really enjoy your perspective in this essay, and your ideas are clearly well thought out! As people mentioned, I would rework some of the wording throughout the essay but nothing too intense. I like your tone and writing style, but consider really picking apart the final paragraph. It truly is a nice essay to read and I enjoyed it