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Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity of gaining new knowledge.


Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 1, 2014   #1
Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Numerous people believe that Internet is not the most crucial invention ever, since Internet is only one of many parts of our invention. However, i strongly believe that it is the most significant invention ever, because of its convenience and the rapidity.

First and uppermost, majority of people must agree with me, it is really convenient in every aspect of our life for the reason that it facilitates our life. In other words, it will make our life much more simple. However, it does not apply to every person on this planet, because tremendous people in this world do not understand how to utilize Internet in the exact way. Therefore, it is a complicated thing for them. But I believe that many people these days know how to get the most out of the Internet. By way of illustration, I can envision a person who wants to purchase a pizza without Internet. Consequently, he has to run over the restaurant that might locate a long way from his house. Therefore, it is really inconvenient and uncomfortable. Moreover purchasing a pizza is not the only thing we can do using Internet It can also apply to purchasing clothes, book a room or a table in the restaurant, communicating to our friends and family or seeking your other half.

On the other side of coin, Internet is the virtual world where you can find almost every single piece of information in any aspects of our life. However, there are some secret information that not every human being can access. Despite this possibility, not many group of people need it. Furthermore, it is about ordinary citizens who need their task done as soon as possible. For instance, you obligated to finalize numerous assignments from your school or university. However, you do not have an ample time to settle down. Thus, Internet is an invention that will solve any problem associated with searching new information.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly believe that Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity and the velocity of obtaining or gaining new knowledge.

iyabazar 1 / 7 1  
Oct 1, 2014   #2
Instead of the word rapidity and convenience how about efficiency? I believe that it may be able to reduce the redundancy. The phrase "First and uppermost," don't really sound very smooth. Try and use a different transition. :)
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 1, 2014   #3
Your essay has a number of problems that I will list down for you. You need to address those content problems before we can proceed with correcting the grammar errors.

Numerous people believe that Internet is not ...

- Vns, this statement does not make any sense towards the end. convenience and rapidity of what? Why do people believe that the internet is the most crucial invention evern in your opinion? Why is it not? While you gave us a shaky personal opinion on the matter, you failed to present both sides that you are expected to be discussing within the essay.

First and uppermost, majority of people must agree ...

- Why should people agree with you? Can't they disagree with you? Rethink your statement, did the internet really make life easier for most people? If so, present evidence as to how that was achieved via the internet. What internet invention made it possible to make life easier for people? Nice discussion of the opposite point of view in the same context. However, you did not develop that idea with solid evidence to support your answer. So you need to go back and review how you can strengthen that argument. Your example is weak. Pizza is delivered these days through a phone call to the restaurant. The internet is not imperative for that. Try to choose a different example of something we could not do then that we can do now. Such as share access to world wide information, stay in touch with friends and relatives even if they live overseas, etc. In order to prove the crucial aspect of this invention, you need to use stronger examples and reasoning.

On the other side of coin, Internet is the virtual world where you can find ...

- This does not disprove the crucial aspect of the internet invention. Rather, this shows the practicality of the application since it allows us to gain access to anybody anytime. There must be a different and stronger drawback to the internet than that. Are you sure not many people need the internet? This particular statement is very weak and can easily be torn down by the simplest thinking internet defender. So you need to revise this portion as well. Strengthen it. Do research. Your examples are not even very applicable to the reason you stated because time management is all that a student needs in order to complete his school tasks. The internet is optional when you think of it that way. Also, make it clear that this is still your opinion so that you won't have to write a separate opinion paragraph.

By way of a conclusion...

-Nice conclusion, it is just too bad that you were not able to develop that idea better within the essay. Instead, it looks like you are presenting a new idea here so it should be a new paragraph instead.


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