'Internet is helping humankind for getting information important from corner of the world'

Hello friends.
Could you read my essay? I hope you read and you give me suggestion, please!
Thanks.

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

----------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------

There is no doubt the internet is one network that helping humankind's for getting information important from corner of the world. However, some of people think that the internet can be able to access to so much information creates problems. I think that the internet brings us to advantages as well as disadvantages.

Firstly, I hold that the internet gives us many benefits. Many persons can be able to access traveling, news, business, journal, lesson books, etc. Others benefit if we gain information about scholarship, we can search in the internet. So, we should not go to scholarship There is no doubt the internet is one network that helping humankind's for getting information important from corner of the world. However, some of people think that the internet can be able to access to so much information creates problems. I think that the internet brings us to advantages as well as disadvantages.

Firstly, I hold that the internet gives us many benefits. Many persons can be able to official for getting information. Otherwise, many students can communicate with supervisor in overseas, if they want to continue study in abroad. Therefore, the internet makes the world smaller for us, with the result that we easier to communicate with other countries.

From other side, the internet brings us problem because we access to so much information. For instance, a lawyer from Jakarta the name is Abbas. He was Maya's lawyer. He wrote status in social media or we often called twitter through network of internet. The status was purpose to Artist such Ahmad's child. Abbas wrote about attitude him because previous Ahmad's child undergo accident that he bump several persons in the street. I think that if he did not like Ahmad's child attitude, he should not make status to so much in the internet because it could make problem. Then, Abbas wrote of constant of status others in twitter. It was not good because I feel that did not gain. Therefore, many people could look his information and it could broke name someone.

To sum up, I believe that the internet brings many advantages than disadvantages for developing future life.

There is no doubt the internet is one network that helping humankind's for getting information important from corner of the world.

where is your conjunction and remember 2 verb 1 conjunction

You need to choose better adverbs to link your sentences or paragraphs.


on the one hand


on the other hand


This conclusion is too short and need more informations. You need to point out your final statement

we easier to communicate with other countries.
Hi eva,, i think 'easier' is Comparative Degree. :)
we communicate with other countries easier than....

it was not good because I feel that did not gain .
Eva, you need subject to make this sentence. :)

Hi. Miss Eva.


others benefit is plural . So, you a mistake put S . Actually, benefitS

Thank your attention

:) Ridwan

Here do I share how to Logon to EF :
1. On the new screen that opens up, under the LOGO "EssayForum",
2. Find and select your essay file on the "-Select Forum-" screen and click on "WRITING FEEDBACK".
3. On the screen that says "Subject - MUST be descriptive, original, and meaningful!", write IELTS/TOEFL with the keywords (Max. 50 characters)
4. Finally, copy and paste your Essay into the Message box. You are asked to complete the full prompt with your essay.

As your readers, we need the full prompt which helps us crystallize the ideas from your writing, to give relevant and reliable feedback.

This, you opinion, you already stated in the introduction itself. So no need to repeat the same in your body paras.

Commonly, you have many mistakes about grammatical...
keep studying...

Thanks Mr. Mowo :)

Hellow Friend :D

Please kindly attend with what eddies said



This is your tittle


Perhaps the essay is for IELTS purpose, you can write IELTS TASK 2 : Internet is helping humankind for getting information important from corner of the world

You follow a good structure for the intro. Let's attend to a few grammar fixes;
There is no doubt that the internetInternet is one network that helpinghelpshumankind'susforgetting information important from corner of the world.having access to any information across the globe instantly.

There are two "Firsly"s :( ... The second one should have been "Secondly " :)

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction.


This is too simple.

From other sideOn the other hand, the internet brings us problems because we access to so much informationthere is no limitation with regard to having access to various websites. Some of these websites operate with very dangerous objectives that can harm our society. For instance, a lawyer from Jakarta whosethe name is Abbas, He was Maya's lawyer....

who is this Maya? You need to introduce that person because we do not know him or her !

A small tip when you work with the classical five paragraph essay
Developing the classical five paragraph essay or more will send you to earn a very impressive result, but this should be followed by a succinct explanation, coherent sentences, grammar error-free, colloquial usage, etc. Otherwise, you may get an average score.