Human activities become easier due to the existence of the cutting-edge internet. Some people say the advent of internet creates a negative behavior, but others tend to argue such idea. While the internet tend makes people being lazy, I am more likely to believe that the internet makes human live more enjoyable because internet provides more information.
It is argued that the internet tends to change someone's attitude to be inert. This is because the internet present information that humans need instantly. I personally experienced when my teacher gave us a task, we just look for the answer in the internet and makes us never read the book. What I grasped from that experience is do not rely on the internet. Therefore, accessing the internet will lead people to be lazier if they used in the wrong way.
However, it is unavoidable that people lives become easier with the internet. This is because the internet serve many news, tips, social media, and so on. For example, we can get more information about what happened in the other countries with easy way. All of the information already available in the internet. Therefore, the enjoyable lives can be grasped through the implementation of the internet.
To sum up, although the internet tends to encourages people to be lazy, I am more likely to argue that the internet has a great influence for humans live as it provides a lot of information. Therefore, the internet impact is depending on the user, seen from how and what for they used.
Hello
Your text is easy to understand, but you could use refining it stylistically:
Human activities [...] It is now so much easier for people to address their daily tasks, because of the internet technologies.
creates [...] induces negative behavior in people...
While the [...] Even though the Internet does prompt some individuals to grow lazy, its main role is concerned with increasing people's knowledge about the surrounding reality.
This is because [...] The reason for this is that...
experienced [...] remember... and this would prevent us from reading the book.
experience is [...] that one should not rely on the Internet.
accessing [...] browsing through...
if they used [...] use...
it is unavoidable [...] it is also the fact that...
with easy way [...] with ease.
Therefore [...] the implementation of the Internet will indeed result in making people's lives much more enjoyable.
encourages [...] encourage
a great influence [...] on people because it makes so much easier to distribute information.
Therefore [...] the actual outcome of becoming closely affiliated with the Internet depends on every individual user.
I hope it helped. Regards.
we just look for the answer in the internet and makes us never read the book.
Right sentence: we looked for the answer in the internet and made us never read the book.
To sum up, although the internet tends to encourage
s people to be lazy,
Hi Lahfah, I would like to share a few insights to your IELTS practice.
- due towith the existence of
- that the advent of
- While the internet tend to makes people being lazy,
- human lives more enjoyable
- because the internet provides more information.
- internet,and makes us neverno need to read the book.
- What I grasped from that experience is that, I shoulddo not rely on the internet.
- to be lazierlazy if they usedit in the wrong way.
There you have it Lahfah, I hope the corrections above delivered the needed enhancements of your essay.
One thing that I would like you to focus on is your sentence construction, this is very crucial as this is the one that makes up the entire
essay. IELTS is not an easy task but it's definitely rewarding, this is a way to assure you that with the points you get, you know exactly where you are standing.
Good job, you have attained clarity! However, you could improve by adding more uncommon words and collocations!
Good luck and do not forget to rate mine!
Dear Lahfah Afifah, please find my feedback.
It is argued that the internet tends ... - > It is argued that the internet tends to make people inert.
I personally experienced when my teacher ... - > I personally experienced situations, in which we just looked for the answer in the internet to address the teacher's task without reading the book.
However, it is unavoidable that people ... -> However, it is unquestionable that the internet makes people lives easier.
Human/Daily activities become easier more comfortable due to the existence of the cutting-edge internet.
While the internet tend / to make people become lazier makes people being lazy ,
I am more likely to believe that the internet makes human live more enjoyable because internet provides more information.
=>(...) the internet helps human live more enjoyable than beforeyou shouldn't state the reason in the first paragraph
It is argued that the internet tends to change someone's people's attitude to be inert/ inactive . This is because the internet it presents information that humans need instantly. Personally, I personally experienced this when my teacher gave us a task, . W e just look for the answer in on the internet and makes us never stop read/ readingthe books . What I grasped/ learnt from that experience is do not to rely on the internet.
Therefore, accessing the internet will lead people to be lazier if they used in the wrong way.
=> Therefore, addicting to internet can lead people to become sluggish
However, it is unavoidable that people lives/life become easier with the internet help . This is because the internetit serve/ providemany news, tips, social media, and so on/etc. .
For example, we can get more information about what happened in the other countries with easy way.
(...) we can update information of what happened (...) instantly,
becausea ll of the informationnews is already available in the internetonline .
ThereforeMoreover , the enjoyable lives can be grasped through the implementation of the internet.
=>this sentence make me confused.
To sum up/ In summary , although the internet tends to encouragescause people to be lazylaziness, I am more likely to argue that the internet has a great influence for humans livelife as it provides a lot of useful information immediately . Therefore/ furthermore , the internet impact is depending on the users , seen from how and what for they used for
In general, the idea of your essay is easy to understand. However, you have been repeating " the internet" "therefore",.. quite several time, you can lose your marks a lot from this. I hope i can help you :D
