Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Task 2: Internet problems and needed solutions like more rigorous regulations



Thangnguyen315 8 / 24  
Aug 13, 2019   #1

cybercrime and addiction



The Internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the Internet? What are the best ways to solve them?

Today, it is true that Internet reverberation plays a pivotal role in the revivification of the modern world, which has considerably changed the way people access to information. Although this phenomenon has several positive ramifications, the Internet also creates unprecedented problems that plague and beleaguer people around the world. This essay will look at the most pressing ones among them and will propose solutions to alleviate these issues.

One of the main problems caused by the Internet is perhaps a recrudescence of cybercrime that takes place everywhere. This is because the number of internet users continues to grow steadily, leading to the fact that more personal properties such as electronic currency or banking information are likely to be stored online. As a result, malicious people with bottomless cupidity will try to appropriate others' fortune, thus engendering an enormous increment in cyber-criminals acts such as stealing bank accounts and network hacking. For example, online banking thefts use many techniques to gain access to victim's banking information, the most common of which is to send phishing emails. To convince victims to enter personal data, those emails will require users to fulfill information to their account suspended, thereby invading people's privacy. Another worrying problem is that users can easily become Internet addicts. Since internet has been a reservoir of alluring resources, fragile people would tend to succumb to temptation, thus negatively affecting their well-being and creating physical as well as metal illnesses.

However, there are effective measures to ameliorate these issues. Firstly, the government should impose severer punishments for individuals who commit barbaric cyber-crimes; furthermore, these ought to be applied on a massive scale to promote its efficiency. In this way, the governments not only show their preoccupation of easing the problem of cyber-crime but also encourage their citizens to have remonstrative attitude towards this issue. Secondly, people should exercise basic precautions that help protect themselves against cyber-crime such as using strong password or keeping their software updated. In terms of internet addicts, they should participate in addiction recovery program, and more importantly, they need to engage in outdoor activities that help them keep a balance life. Only by taking these steps in synchronization, problems with the Internet can properly be tackled.

In conclusion, cybercrime and addiction are two most serious threats associated with the Internet. To counter these problems, the government should have more rigorous regulations, and citizens should be trained to be cautious of online risks as well as encouraged to take part in activities to have a healthy life.

I hope to see your feedbacks!
Thank you very much

Maria - / 1096  
Aug 13, 2019   #2
@Thangnguyen315
Hi. It's great to see you here again! I'm here to give you feedback on this written work. I'll do my best on that.

Generally, your writing is quite decent. Your grasp of the language is satisfying, considering that you're able to elaborate with such distinction throughout. I would only recommend trying to incorporate a more integrative approach through balancing out your heavy sentences with simpler ones. Take a look at your first paragraph. The essay needs a bit of work because of the heaviness of the words. This makes your work a bit tough on the eyes. Try simplifying a few lines to add more dyanism.

Your second paragraph is also a bit too lengthy. I suggest trimming this down a bit more.
OP Thangnguyen315 8 / 24  
Aug 14, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you for spending time with my essays and giving me feedbacks! I really appreciate it


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 2: Internet problems and needed solutions like more rigorous regulations
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳