Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


GRE Issue: The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vast



inspiration 1 / -  
Aug 10, 2010   #1
Title: The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vastly overrated: most people could learn more by studying and reading on their own for four years than by pursuing a university or college degree.

Nowadays every areas have organizations and groups. A group might be formed by small or large number of people but has a common interest or goal as an example group of manufacturing people, group of labor or group of religion. Groups are an important part of some people's lives. There are many reasons people like to join or stay with groups.

The main reason is human being like to form a society. As an simple example, everyone likes to stay with family and family is a one group, it might be small or large number of people. Second example is every person belongs to some religion, which we can say community and follow some rule and regulation. In society, different people stay together, some of them have good manners and some of them follows wrong ways like theft, murder. To constrain the bad manners and crime we need to form a community and establish some rules and regulations.

The second reason is humanity like to share experience and translate knowledge. Every person has an interest in some aspect. Some people like to art, some people like to physical activities. These interesting field's knowledge they like to share to other people. It can mostly possible when there is a group of common interest people as an example a group of camping people, a group of an engineer. That is why people form groups and translate their knowledge and experience with each other.

The third reason is getting success with working together. Groups are very important to people because many works can complete with groups only. In big organization, there are many small groups working together. As an example of manufacturing car, many groups involved in manufacturing car like a group of labors, a group of painters, a group of marketing peoples.

In conclusion, it is impossible to man to stay alone, group are part of human life. Human belongs many groups with knowingly and unknowingly. It helps people to spend their life with someone companion and share thoughts, knowledge and experience. Though some people like to stay alone because of their scare of dominant people and their discouragement but they are still belonging to some groups knowingly and unknowingly; they don't have other choice.

ershad193 14 / 321  
Aug 11, 2010   #2
for obvious reasons.

You haven't even mentioned your arguments. So how can the reasons be "obvious". The introduction needs some work.

Probably, the courses schedule do not meet their needs, they can find more interesting material from library or internet.

The second part of the sentence is confusing. I couldn't come up with a suggestion. Can you clarify it?

Oh, I see, what you're trying to say. Do you mean to say that some people may lose their focus on the other subjects if they only concentrate on their interests, and hence, these people should choose the self study option?

^^Whatever maybe the case, you are not being clear.

one does not need much efforts to find failed goals from whom that was not able to attend university or college.

This is another one I didn't understand.

The majority of people would find a four-year education from university or college is essential forto their success.

First of all, a university or college

lots of experienced instructors who do not only give knowledge,

Use the indefinite article 'a' while using the singular form of university. Like this -- a university or college
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 11, 2010   #3
...There are successful self-taught individuals such as Minhong Yu, who is the owner of trains of English training school in China. --- is this a proper noun? Capitalize the name of the school.

When he was in college, he knew clearly what he wanted, and he knew that the college education could not help enough for his career goals, so he discontinued his formal education and established an English training school which was so successful that a train of schools were established. which could not be taught from school for sure . This sentence was too long so I had to take off part of it! :-) what do you think?


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE Issue: The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vast
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳