GRE Issue Essay; All nations should help support the development of a global university

Issue11: "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

Speaker claims that establishment of a global university will help to solve the world's most persistent social problems. However, such university posses certain risk that all participating countries must be careful about.

According to my perception, global university will bring together the people from varying culture under the same roof. This would lead to use the best minds of the world for solving world's problem. It is always good to work with a team having different skills and culture. Such varying team development is like integrating whole world's values under the single name. It may establish peace in world and people's horizon will get broad for the world as a whole.

While establishing global university several issues may arise. First issue could be the syllabi that will be taught in global schools. As it is global university, syllabi need to be designed in such a way that it would serve interest of each country. Some nations which are developed may compel to put forward the content which would be beneficiary for its own country. Global university can deliver best global competing students. Quality of such student would be very high and globally they will be recognized with honor. In contrast, global university will cause high competition among its students.

To sum up, speaker's assertion that "establishment of a global university will help to solve world's most persistent social problems" would sound right provided that interest of every individual country is preserved.

However, such university may possess certain risks that the participating countries need to be concerned about. .... it's better if you briefly introduce what these risks are. Otherwise this statement sounds pretty vague. Also, you need to mention about the positive aspect of it also because you deal with that in your first body paragraph.

thank you for your comments :-) What about sentence structure?? Can you suggest some points to improve on it?

.... I don't see issues with your structure. I think it is well structured and you have presented your ideas clearly and convincingly. However, I feel you can further improve the presentation of your sentences.


... You should maintain the same level in a sentence (nations --------> their)
The developed nations may have the power to influence the course contents in view of meeting their national requirements which may not be helpful for the poor countries.