Hi Miss Reski. Here are my suggestions for you.
Overall, it can be seen that a fluctuation ...this should be extended. You can find other data should the trend of 1pm news etc.
... and experienced AN
increase to 3,9. 6pm (...) during that period IT
fluctuated in THE
proportion of viewer. It saw A
decline by 2 in May. Besides, there was A
stable trend of figure ...
..., there was the
new time of news ...
It witnessed AN
upward trend until (...) extremely drop in the
proportion of viewer ...
1. try to make an attention to subject-verb agreement. I found some sentences that i could find the subject.
2. do not include your opinion. we are forbidden to write down any opinion for writing task 1.
3. try to use the cohesive devices to make your sentence move "smoothly"
4. Make sure you use the ARTICLE.
I hope it can be useful for you.
Goodluck and Keep Spirited.