Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Nowadays, a job for developing communities has taken by adult youths



nurainiyusuf16 47 / 73  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Nowadays, a job for developing communities has taken by adult youths. Some people believe that working for communities should be free while others think, they should get paid. Personally, I believe that all people want to work for their communities without salary, but for some people, it is hard since it cannot be denied, they need money to stay alive. This essay will first discuss about people who should work voluntary, and then talk about others that should get salary.

Volunteerism, a term for defining a job in order to develop society without salary, is usually done by people with age group 18-30 years old. For people who have an occupation, they usually do this in their weekend or in the rest of their workday. Those people are the ones that do not take salary by working in societies. Even they routinely spend their expenditure with aim to communities and public needs.

However, for some people, I agree that they have to give a reasonable paid for working in communities. For instance, the leaders of communities who spend most of their time and effort for better community, they should given a salary. Those people need money as well as other, also for their family. So, it is suitable for them to get some money from working in the communities.

All in all, I believe that people want to work in their communities sincerely. But for people who the work as the main job, giving a salary is something that equitable for them.

krempetkov 13 / 27  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
... communities has taken mainly by adult youths

... to develop society without salary, isbeing paid, which usually done by people with age group 18-30 years oldhas been executed by the people aged 18 to 30.

For people (...) or in the rest of their workday. --- ... have an occupation, usually tend to do this during the weekends or after the end of their workdays.

working infor the societies

Even they routinely spend their ... - They even routinely tend to spend fractions from their salaries with the aim to help/support the communities and the public. (I didn't quite catch what do you mean, by saying "spend their expenditure with aim to communities ").

However, for some people, I agree ... - However, some people, think that they deserve a reasonable remuneration for their contribution to the communities.

For instance,
the leaders of communities who spend ... - the leaders of the communities, who spend most of their time in efforts to improve our communities, deserve a salary .

These people need money just as all of us.

So, it is suitable for them to get some money ... - You have already state that in the previous sentence - delete or rewrite.

All in all, I believe that people want to ... -- In conclusion, i believe that most of the people want to play a part in the development of their communities, just for their own satisfaction. But for the people, occupated only in these areas, i think it is fair to receive some kind of a reward.

My version of the conclusion part is not really good, so i suggest to just look for the ideas rather than for the grammatical part.

Good luck and keep writing!


Home / Writing Feedback / Nowadays, a job for developing communities has taken by adult youths
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳