Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


'job-hunting' - University should offer students more preparation for the future



john hans 1 / 2  
Nov 29, 2011   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.

As industries develop, work opportunity grows, while competition increases as well. It can be widely seen that large number universities are introducing and holding jobs fairs to graduate to cushion the blow in job-hunting. Thus, the dean, parents, and college students start to concerns that whether preparation in university is going to be greatly supported and popularized. Some contends that if so, the effort and process in applying for a position will be significantly spared, as a result, the saved time and energy can be invested into other practical projects to boost efficiency.

Conceding that preparation offered by college will certainly minimize both risks and frustration to the modest level for applicants, and give the majority of graduates courage and confidence to face, handle and accustomed to the competitive outside world. For one thing, opening selective courses to training and teaching skills for application assists candidates. The candidate could equip themselves with basic strategy in writing resume and tips in surviving from interviews. For another, inviting successful celebrities to give speech to motivate and inspire students would be sufficiently effective to help their apprentice get emotionally prepared. In addition, chances of internship at the end of each semester will aid graduates to strengthen and enhance their academic knowledge through performing hand-in tasks.

Yet the statement overlooks several aspects when it comes to support students in seeking after careers with preparation. First, since all those relevant information in resume composing and interviewing is readily available on not only printed material but also internet, which is much more cost-effective than hiring lecturers to hold a training session. In fact, all those salary paid for employing trainers, can be reinvest into practical plans like adding the collections of books to libraries, multimedia devices and wifi to facilitate students every day study on campus. Second, inviting famous and occupationally successful experts is costly as well. It will lay financial burdens to the school and the students, for the admission fees must be unsurprisingly high. Last but not the least, internship seems desirably attractive to most students, but the opportunities are temporary and the competitiveness of the drill is as severe as a real deal.

The second reason why the statement is fundamentally problematic is that students will lose chances of acquiring real and authentic experience in hunting jobs. As the matter of course, they are more likely to feel daunting and frustrating when they are planning on hopping for another new position afterward. Especially because they are psychologically unprepared, hardships, adversities, rejection are going to be ten times harder to cope with. It is universally acknowledged that difficulties are quite unpredictable, they may methodically capable but with alleviated blow, their mentality will never be mature enough to enable them to adjust.

In sum, as for the advantages of moderate preparation, students will be undoubtedly benefited. However, the long-lasting effect of preparation is unjustifiable due to financial and psychological insufficiency. In the final analysis, to ensure students' occupational performance, personal experience is more essential than external assistance.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Nov 29, 2011   #2
A few things:

to cushion the blow in job-hunting. I think this phrase is distracting, you may want to change "cushion the blow"

Thus, the dean, parents, and college students start to concerns that whether preparation in university is going to be greatly supported and popularized. This sentence does not make sense- you are trying to say-- the college, students, and parents are concerned with job preparation...

Some would say the effort and process in applying for a position will be significantly saved , as a result, the saved time and energy can be invested into other practical projects to boost efficiency.

Conceding that preparation offered by college will certainly minimize both risks and frustration to the modest level for applicants, and give the majority of graduates courage and confidence to face, handle and accustomed to the competitive outside world. This sentence is a little too long, and sounds confusing. Try to simplify.

For another, inviting successful celebrities to give speech to motivate and inspire students would be helpful to emotionally prepare them for apprenticeship .

You have many good points! You have great content and good writing skill. I would work on your grammar and simplify (some sentences are too "wordy") Good Luck in school!
OP john hans 1 / 2  
Nov 29, 2011   #3
tks for you reply and great advice, it means a lot to me. I'll keep working on it!
abedkh 8 / 6  
Dec 2, 2011   #4
By developing industries , work opportunity grows, while competition increases as well. It can be widely seen that large number of universities are introducing and holding jobs fairs to graduate to cushion the blow in job-hunting. Thus, the dean, parents, and college students start to concerns that whether preparation in university is going to be greatly supported and popularized. Some contends that if so, the effort and process in applying for a position will be significantly spared, as a result, the saved time and energy can be invested into other practical projects to boost efficiency.
OP john hans 1 / 2  
Dec 2, 2011   #5
tks for your reply, it've been very useful.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'job-hunting' - University should offer students more preparation for the future
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳