[IELTS] Many job seekers believe that the most vital part in their career is the salary level

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many job seekers believed that the most vital part in their career is salary level. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.
One of the reason is that good standard of living is extremely important when people choose their career. Having a high-paid job allows employees to meet their basic needs such as food and accommodation. Moreover, when they are able to fulfill their basic needs, they can improve their family's health and education. When one gives the family proper health protection and education, then it definitely enhances their living standard.

On top of that, you will earn more respect for getting a well-paid salary. Because when you have high salary, your job is ought to be a very respectable one. For example, an employee who made 3000 dollars a year will have more admiration in the company than the one who only made 1500 dollars a year.

In conclusion, people who have a high salary job will get good standard of living and receive respect from the society. For these reasons, it is clear that money can be an important factor for many people when choosing their career.

Hi, I think your essay has many things that need to be improved.
1. The essay is too short. 191 words is not enough for an IELTS Task 2, which requires at least 250 words.
2. There are some grammartical and tense errors:
- Many job seekers believed-> believe that.. You should use present simple in this sentence, not past simple.
- One of the reason-> reasons
- an employee who made-> makes 3000..., who only made-> makes 1500 dollars a year.
3. it is clear that money can be an important factor ... Since you have completely agreed with the idea that money is the most important consideration, you cant say money can be an important... as it indicates it is not true in some cases. Instead, you should write " money is definitely an..." as it shows the confirmation.

Hope my suggestions useful!

You have to rework your essay in terms of word count. The minimum word count is 250 per essay for Task 2. You wrote 191 words. That will result in a severe word count penalty / percentage deduction. Such deductions will result in a lower than average starting score for you. In fact, it will result in a failing score in the end. In this essay, you made 5 specific errors in the areas of spelling, grammar, and conciseness. So those additional errors will add to the deductions to be applied to your final score.

The reason you came under the word count is simple, you did not properly paraphrase the prompt before you presented your opinion sentence. You should have had at least one more sentence in that section before your opinion was presented. Do not start your sentences with conjunctions like "because" as a connecting word, it does not serve a purpose at the start of a sentence. It is considered extremely wrong English grammar to do that. The run-on sentences and lack of 3 sentence minimum requirement will all add up, along with the less than minimum word count, to make you fail the test.