'always a journey, but not a destination' - a debate whether one's success depends on luck or not

Topic:

People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

My essay:
"Succeed is always a journey, but not a destination." There is a debate whether one's success depends on luck or not. This is a controversy issue. Personally, I agree with the rubric that one will achieve the feat by virtue of dedication as well as the blessing of our Almighty.

When mentioning to success, one cannot deny the ability to devote our time and energy to work will play a vital role in it. To be more specific, if a student wants to gain a high score in the final exam, he/she must be willing to dedicate all his/her time and energy to study.

Now I would like to put emphasis to luck, I believe that luck is also a mandatory thing if one wants to climb new summits. This is due to the fact that nothing is more powerful than our Gods, they will determine whether will we succeed or not. Even at the school, sometimes kids are getting their marks by luck because of teachers' mistakes.

After analysing both sides of the problem, I have to conclude that despite being hardworking is an essential factor to become more successful, luck also influences the results of our workings. But I believe that is is more important to keep working hard rather than simply waiting for luck to approach us.

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Please help me I am a poor student with no money in budget :((((
Please score me like the IELTS Writing Task 2.
Thank you very much!!!!

The essay is subject to a tremendously low, definitely failing score. I will save you a public embarassment here by not mentioning the actual score. Just know that not writing a 250 word essay is where the failure started. There are only 224 words presented here. The improperly quoted text is another reason, along with the confusingly worded response sentence. The use of the word " rubic" doesn't make sense. It does not relate to the original prompt. The opening paragraph problems are enough evidence as to why the overall grade will be failing.

The essay presentation must never make reference to a religion or divine belief of any sort. The reasons must be based on commonly held opinions and general considerations. The examples provided are even further removed from the evidence requirements. The essay totally changed from the original requirements. These are the reasons why this will be a failing essay in an actual test.