Essays: The juvenile crime rate is growing in metropolises around the globe

Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities throughout the world

It is an alarming fact that the juvenile crime rate is growing in metropolises around the globe recently. Although there are some underlying causes of this concerning phenomenon, some measures can be adopted to tackle the problem.

The main and perhaps the most persuasive explanation for this tendency would be the lack of parental concern and attention. Without control, people at young age are very impressionable and have little ability to resist temptation in a world strewed with traps and pitfalls. As a result, youngsters will be easily lured into partaking in committing crimes by social convicts. To deal with this, it is of utter importance that parents must take the responsibility to spend time in their own busy lives to make sure that their children are looked after and orientated the right direction.

Another vital factor which triggers the increase in youth-perpetrated crime is the unemployment. In this day and age, there is influx of immigrants into cities with hopes of earning their living, mostly young adult. Nevertheless, they will soon suffer from disillusion of city life with the harsh realities of unemployment and poverty - the only choice for them is turning to crimes such as burglar or robbery so as to get money. A practical measure that could be taken on this front is that governments should have job creation schemes which are suitable with each's capacity to aid them have subsistence wages.

In conclusion, while the escalation in crimes undertaken by young people is worrying, by applying some steps the problem can be considerably diminished, if not altogether eliminated.

The writer should not sensationalize the reference to the given topic. It does not add to the restatement accuracy and instead, leads to a topic alteration which could adversely affect the score for the paragraph. Merely repeating the discussion instruction also fails to meet the clear opinion presentation requirement for the paragraph. The examiner does not need to be told what the discussion is about. He already knows that. What he does need to know is how well you can state the basis for your opinion within 2 sentences, using the questions provided as a guide. The prompt restatement + writer's opinion failed to accomplish that in this paragraph.

A very good first reasoning paragraph was provided. It effectively uses the cause + effect + solution presentation. That is a strong paragraph even though the solution sentence could have been more effectively stated, maybe over 2 sentences rather than 1. There was room for a longer explanation, the writer has only used 263 words of the 300 maximum anyway.

Reason number 2 does not focus on juvenile delinquency as the topic. Remember that the focus is on young people, not young adults who need to work. The idea behind the essay is that crimes are committed by members of the youth sector who are not old enough to gain employment yet. That is an irrelevant discussion that will be awarded points based only on LR and GRA considerations. It cannot be given a C+C score because of the deviation in discussion focus.

add an example to consolidate what you want to express. That is just my opinion, it is better to follow the consultant advice.