Knowledge from teachers, not from internet or TV? IELTS essay - Learning Resources

Students at school and university learn far more form lessons with their teacher than other resources, for example internet and television.
For what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning process can be done by using various resources. Some students mostly obtain knowledge form their teachers instead of internet or television as such resource can be accessed easily. However, it can be argued that more students are encouraged to use the others, such as internet and television, because of the advance of technology and some improvement in education.

Some conventional schools which still implement teacher-centered learning indirectly lead the student to rely on the teachers. This is because students can every day see their teachers, and the teachers always provide students with all information they need instead of stimulate their inquiry mind. A good example for this can be seen in the number of elementary schools in developing country, Indonesia, where teachers always give a direct answer for every question from their student, and do not ask their student back with the question that challenge them to find the answer by them selves.

On the other hand, students are now provided with the high technological devices that allow them to access worldwide information effectively. This advance of technology have been working alongside the improvement of education methods such as student-centered learning which now are more often applied in schools. Even from elementary school, children are now accustomed to investigate their material deeply by using internet, television, and other resources. This is proved in a study conducting in UK that pointed out 98% of primary school students do small research online to acquire full grasp of their lessons.

Hi there!

Just to add some points.

Some students mostly obtain knowledge formfrom their teachers instead of internet or television as such resource can be accessed easily.
... because of the advanced of technology and some improvement in education. (I think you forgot to mention your stand in your introductory paragraph)

This is because students can every day see their teachers, and the teachers always provide ...
... elementary schools in developing country,like Indonesia, where teachers always give a direct answer for every question ...
(What do you mean with this sentence? Are you saying that their teacher does not answer their question, which sort them to find it in their own? Please elaborate it more.)

This learning method generates the lack of students' determination and independence in their whole school life.
(Your first argument is good, which you are referring how students are dependent in their teacher etc., but I think you should explain or elaborate more you example and conclusion to make this argument stronger.)

This advancedof technology havehas been working alongside theto improvement ofthe education methods such aslike student-centered learning (student learning center?) which now are more often applied in schools today.

(...) This is proved in a study conducting in UK that pointed out 98% of primary school students do small research online to acquire full grasp of their lessons. (Your example here is great.)

Just to add some suggestions.

1. When your writing your introduction, especially with this type of question. It is important to always express your stand or side. Are you 100%, 75%, 50% agreeing or disagreeing with the topic etc.,because this will the baseline of your overall arguments. I think that in your essay, you both discuss why students from certain institutions learn from their teachers and also sort to use other resources.

2. There are few grammatical error, which hinders the reader to understand some of your sentences.

3. Be aware of some repetitive words in your work, you can use synonyms to solve that issue.

4. Let's practice and practice more to improve our skills.

Overall, your essay is impressive, maybe just add some arguments and examples to make it much stronger.
I hope that I help you somehow. Best of luck.

I think you conclusion paragraph could use some revision. From your last sentence, it looks like the goal of education is to "gain knowledge as much as possible", but what's primarily being focused on in the previous paragraphs is developing an investigatory ability. Therefore, instead of suggesting that the best learning method is one that only increases student knowledge, I think your conclusion should logically be that which increases student knowledge while also giving them the critical thinking skills to investigate and arrive at the answers on their own.

Does that make sense? Hope that helps!