[IELTS task 2] Lack of Learning languages and children development in the modern society

Topic :Some children do not have the ability for learning languages.Therefore , schools should not make children do that.Do you agree or disagree.
Please give me appropriate band for this essay , thanks

no incentives to sharpen children's linguistic skills

In the contemporary society , the question whether school-aged individuals , who could not obtain mother-tongue basically , should not be forced to cultivate their personal ability by the ministry of education have drawn much attention from society.Personally , I give my firm opposition to this notion .

Foremost,It is a fallacy that children should be not given incentives to sharpen their linguistic skills by their teachers.Therefore,due to the fact that communication by some distance hold a vital position in nowadays lifestyles ,transborder collaboration and international or domestic negotiation,it is obviously crucial for the regulatory bodies to force schools to invest more enormous influx of fundings,human resources to help their exceptional students well-roundedly flourish as ordinary offsprings despite their innate malformation refrain language-based development.From the social perspective , education support empowers children to be able to communicate , in the long term , not only help aforementioned individuals enhance prospective opportunities ,widen personal horizon to get access to contemporary society but also pave the way for the government to generate intellectually well-equipped generations to reinforce financial budgets , foster prosperity especially with knowledge-based economy such as the U.S or VN in the future.If it wasn't for any act of assistant, children would encounter numerous obstacles to survive and thrive in such competitive world.

However, to figure out appropriate initiatives needs immediate involvement of both individuals and families ' endeavour besides schools support.As referred previously , since it exert massive effects on personal life , not only mother-tongue but also English could be seen as precursor to facilitate students career become brighter.Accordingly , these extrinsic factors will be collateral culprits to help school-aged individuals satisfy the instant quest for overseas occupation , keep abreast of latest global information.For instance , world would have missed significant scientific breakthroughs if it hadn't been for family support for Albert Einstein , who have suffered from lack of communication,

In conclusion, it is necessary for schools encourage children to improve language skills regardless of inborn restrictions and external assistance will be firmly crucial.

Ken, the overall score for your essay cannot be higher than a 2. Yes, I mean that score is what you will get for each and every band criteria. There are a number of reasons that you cannot score higher than this in an actual test, with this type of presentation. The reasons are as follows:

1. The response that you gave slips in and out of relevance to the prompt requirement. You have a tendency to discuss unrelated topics in the essay.

2. You do not have any control of organizational features. The reader has a hard time trying to make sense of the topic that you are trying to discuss per paragraph.

3. Your language problem has created an essay that cannot be understood by the reader due to the problems with lexical resources and sentence structure. You have absolutely no idea as to how to compose even the most simple English sentence in a comprehensible manner. This causes severe stress for the reader.

4. Your punctuation problems are evident throughout the essay. The comma should not take the place of a period and it should not be contained throughout a paragraph. That qualifies your written work as only one sentence instead of a full paragraph. A paragraph is created by knowing when to use periods in your thought presentations.

While this essay is truly problematic, I would like you to continue practicing. I know this is your first attempt at writing an IELTS Task 2 essay so the problems are understandable. With constant practice and guidance, you should show some improvement within a week or two. Just write everyday. Don't stop. That is the only way that you can get better at developing these essays.