Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


TOEFL: a large number of celebrities are not equipped with skills necessary for a politician



natasha_139 5 / 4  
Jul 8, 2016   #1
TOEFL: Professional athletes and performers shouldn't be involved in politics.

In my opinion, professional athletes and performers shouldn't be involved in politics and there are number of statements to substantiate this belief, as now will be explained.

First of all, a large number of celebrities are not equipped with academic knowledge, high capabilities which are based on individual intelligence as will as capabilities to be a politician, What I want to express is that each profession has its own requirements, for athletes are endurance, fitness and good health, for singers are beautiful looking, good social ability and perfect voice, but for politicians are smart minds, mature views and justice. For example, the famous actor whose name is Jacky Chen, no one can deny his contributions that he made to the modern media. But Jacky has never went to any academics for studying, so when someone asked him to have a speech to inspire people in some meetings or parties, he always failed to finish that job since he didn't what should be said in this situation. However, whether which profession that those celebrities were, they cannot work on politics in the future.

Furthermore, another aspect that needs our attention, even celebrities become politicians, it's tough for them to gain credibility from publics. The main reason is that the celebrities utter some words taught by their brokers for their own interest rather than truly benefits citizens. There are number of examples can support my thesis. Athletes are likely to recommend cloths that are very plain but costly; actors appeal to their fans by buying food that they endorse, which is actually mixed with some toxic ingredients. Like the famous actor whose name is ZhongXiang Zhao, he recommended a series of health care products that can lengthen people's age on television, but which was actually made of plastic and this event really reduced his public credibility. Thus, even celebrities start to work on politics and need to convey important information to citizens, people would view them as faker who have distrust career of recommending bad things.

Admittedly, there do exist a small group of celebrities who are talented, will-performed and with broad views that are similar to politicians. Take account of their identities which are able to create negative perceptions among people will hamper their development of involving in politics to a certain degree.

To sum up, for the statements mentioned above, we might safely conclude that it is not wise for athletes and performers be involved in politics.

mandy51425 3 / 3  
Jul 8, 2016   #2
My rephrase for your reference:

First of all, each type of job requires its own profession, and athletes and performers usually don't have the professional knowledge that a politician requires. Just like athletes need endurance and good health, singers need beautiful voice, what politicians require is independent insight on social issues, which is also can't easily substitute by any people. For example,...

Furthermore, even though athletes and performers do give opinions on political topics, it's hard to make the public believe in their words. Whether athletes and performers do have their own opinion on social topics or not, people may think of them just representing a specific interest group. There are numbers of examples...
justivy03 - / 2265  
Jul 21, 2016   #3
Hi Natasha, as I read through your essay, I must say that you are able to convey your message with clarity. I do agree that politician will always be politicians and celebrities are not equipped with the right set of skills that will warrant a productive and effective management, specially when it comes to budget management, finding out which project needs priority and which project can still wait and sit back.

Moreover, I believe the points you cited are credible enough that merits to be published, not only that, it also gives some sort of review to those celebrities who aspire to become politicians, however, there is nothing wrong to dream and to strive to become what a person want to be, including a celebrity to become a politician, but we also need to see how to shape this dreams and if we can really make them a reality.

Now, I have a few suggestions for the last couple of paragraphs in your essay.

- Admittedly, there do exist a small group of celebrities who are talented exist ,
- Take account ofTaking their identities into account,
- which are able tothey might create a negative
- perceptions amongto people that will hamper
- their development of involvingto get involve in politics to a certain degree.

- To sum up, for the statements mentioned above, we mightTherefore, I safely conclude
- that it is not wise for athletes and performers to be involved in politics.

There you have it Natasha, hopefully, the modifications and remarks are helpful as well as useful to your revision.
Eric_Rom - / 3  
Jul 25, 2016   #4
Celebrities dive into politics for the sole reason of using their popularity and "people image" to increase their vote banks. It's comparatively easy for them to join a political party, do campaignings, be heard and gather a fan following. People know and adore them already and they don't have to build from scratch.

Furthermore, another aspect that needs our attention is, even celebrities become politicians,and it's tough for them to gain credibility from publics . The main reason is that thethesecelebrities utter some words taught by their brokers for their own interest rather than truly benefits benefiting citizens.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: a large number of celebrities are not equipped with skills necessary for a politician
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳