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A large portion of country's budget should be diverted to health and preventive measures.


tantadedanaan 6 / 11 11  
Jan 13, 2015   #1
Essay question: Prevention is better than cure. Do you agree or disagree that out of the country's health budget, a large portion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health and education and preventive measures?

Nowadays, there are new diseases that are being diagnosed throughout the world. Because of this news, most of the leaders of different country diverted enough money for their people's well-being. I also share the idea of giving large portion of the country's budget to public health and education and also on preventive measures.

Educating the citizen about health may increase their awareness about many types of illnesses and how to prevent it. Simple hand washing can save millions of life if teaches properly. Also, if there is a case of disease outbreak in their community, they will know what to do and what to expect. A well-informed individual might help to lower the incidents of morbidity and mortality rate.

Because of modern technology, distributing information is not limited to health teaching only. Officials also use the Internet and mass media to promote a healthy living. There are also some preventive measures nowadays that is beneficial to every people like free medical services. In my country for example, we have free vaccine for all infant and children ages five years old and below. It is one way of the government to ensure that each citizen is provided with optimum care.

As the phrase say "Health is wealth". One advantage of providing good health is, it can make the country's prosperous. Individuals are more efficient and productive at work if they are healthy thus elevating the economy.

Overall, I believe that providing funds for projects related to health is a big step of mankind to fight any kinds of diseases for the sake of better future.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 15, 2015   #2
Alleb, when you write an introductory statement, make sure to present the prompt in the first sentence by rephrasing it. An effective introduction offers a complete overview of the topic to be discussed, the supporting and opposing arguments, and finally, your personal opinion on the matter that will be discussed in the essay.

Your arguments are riddled with grammatical problems that render the sentences difficult to read and lessens the impact of your comments. Your reasoning is also weak and too common sense in approach. You need to present deeper reasons on the pro and con sides which you can develop within a paragraph each. Discussing the essay that way will make it balanced and allow you to better develop your discussion ideas. Right now, it sounds like you are just throwing around your ideas without really considering the best method of presenting the information you wish to share with the reader.

When it comes to your personal opinion, It is almost non-existent. You cannot present a personal opinion at the end of the essay as that is against formal writing rules. You need to make sure that your personal opinion is placed as the 3rd paragraph of your essay. Doing so will ensure that the conclusion will contain a summary of the discussion and facts, a restatement of the prompt, and finally, your reworded personal opinion as a reiteration of your stance.


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