Do not begin the discussion of your opinion in relation to the topic in the prompt restatement + opinion presentation. This paragraph should only contain your version of the original prompt (1 sentence), your opinion (1 sentence), and your thesis statement (1 sentence) for a total of 3 sentences in the prompt introduction paragraph. The minute you present your opinion in this paragraph, the examiner will score this section based on prompt restatement inaccuracies as you are already altering the original presentation. It no longer contains the original elements of the discussion in the section that requires it. If you must present your opinion, do so in the last part, in the form of the thesis statement. Not a full discussion, just a topic reference.
I like to think lots of
Word usage error. You think of a lot of THINGS, not think. Perhaps this was a case of mistyping on your part since think and things are similarly spelled. Be careful when typing and always review your work for proper word referencing to avoid word usage deductions.
places, consequently, the
Punctuation error. There should be a full stop, a period between the words since Consequently indicates a different topic from the first one. One sentence, one topic is the rule. Seperate different topics per sentence.
Aside from these errors, you did an acceptable job of presenting your reasoning discussion paragraphs. Just remember to be more careful with your grammar and word usage. These are the sections where your errors were spotted in this essay. Make sure to avoid the same mistakes going forward.