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Large public places and parks are significant for cities' residents

Harry Yang 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2021   #1

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks

In busy society, people have heavily stress, they release their stress by doing outdoor activities hence it is significant for all towns and cities to have large public places like parks and public places. In addition, there are lots of tourists will come to visit these places. In this essay, I will discuss this issue and explain why I agree the following statement that is important that the government should provide large public outdoor places.

Firstly, people can have outdoor activities and release their stress in public places. Science research, outdoor activities are conducive to people who have lots of stress, there are lots of benefits for residents. For example, I run at the park after work every day. I like to think lots of think when I'm running, and sometimes I get a new idea from scene in the park. Therefore, the public places can help people not only relax also have good thinking in the park.

Secondly, many visitors will come to visit parks and some large public outdoor places, consequently, the country can promote their infrastructure by tourism earning. It is a good recycle to the community, improving the region and have a better life. For example, tourists like to go to New York to visit central park, it brings lots of benefits for stores which are located at there. In addition, stores can donate money to the community, and use money to decorate streets and central park. Therefore, it brings lots of profits between the community and residents.

In conclusion, I agree that is crucial to have large public places and parks, these places are significant for residents. Afterwards, people may satisfy with these places because they can remove the bad mood at there.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,037 4251  
Nov 25, 2021   #2
Do not begin the discussion of your opinion in relation to the topic in the prompt restatement + opinion presentation. This paragraph should only contain your version of the original prompt (1 sentence), your opinion (1 sentence), and your thesis statement (1 sentence) for a total of 3 sentences in the prompt introduction paragraph. The minute you present your opinion in this paragraph, the examiner will score this section based on prompt restatement inaccuracies as you are already altering the original presentation. It no longer contains the original elements of the discussion in the section that requires it. If you must present your opinion, do so in the last part, in the form of the thesis statement. Not a full discussion, just a topic reference.

I like to think lots of think

Word usage error. You think of a lot of THINGS, not think. Perhaps this was a case of mistyping on your part since think and things are similarly spelled. Be careful when typing and always review your work for proper word referencing to avoid word usage deductions.

places, consequently, the

Punctuation error. There should be a full stop, a period between the words since Consequently indicates a different topic from the first one. One sentence, one topic is the rule. Seperate different topics per sentence.

Aside from these errors, you did an acceptable job of presenting your reasoning discussion paragraphs. Just remember to be more careful with your grammar and word usage. These are the sections where your errors were spotted in this essay. Make sure to avoid the same mistakes going forward.

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