Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Learn more about another country by watching tv programmes and films about it



aryaayra 7 / 16  
Apr 28, 2014   #1
IELTS TASK 2
Hello Buddies, please give me your corrections concerning my writing below.. :D

================================================================= ==========

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Watching TV's shows or Films are always entertaining for the humans, no matter whether that activity is often benefits. However, some people feel
that we can learn extra concerning another country by visiting them. I feel that, there are several things to find out another magnificent experience by

staying in.

To begin with, TV's shows provide some good information and knowledge inside the contents in order to be favorite channel of the viewers
number. The companies give fund to create infomercial program or a film, one main purpose is about earning money (income). It is not forbidden
pattern to get societies attention, because it is like mutualism or take and give between the enterprises and public. In addition, public do not need to

bother themselves to visit a place where as long as they want. Due TV's shows or Films already show a travel and a story as their reports or

presents. More often watch TV's, it will be having more information you have, certainly depends on merits of the programmes.

However, some people cannot get their own experience before visiting it, because they will learn by their own way without one packaging as TV's

showed. As example, if people immediately come to the places, they can recognize the environments and also communicate to the local inhabitants,
ask anything that they are knowing yet. In my experience, I ever went to Belitong district where Laskar Pelangi FILM was created, I felt the real

atmosphere without cinematography like in the film, also I traveled on backpacker way which I got and learnt other information such as social lives,
economy and their professions in common. Those were benefits of visiting not likely in a film I have seen. But, not all the people can do what i did, it

is caused everybody has more own budget and this case cannot put in the same level.

In conclusion, watching TV programmes and films surely can reduce about a cost and amount of time that people will spend and more easier to learn

the new things of a country by sitting in the living room. It is fact TV's shows and Films give a good contribution for the society.

tiaDS 73 / 222  
Apr 28, 2014   #2
Personally, i like this essay because you address all parts of the task.
for improving your writing skill, this is an approach from dumi (our moderator) to build the good introduction;
1. Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention
2. Background - Give the context to the reader
2.1. Definition of the question
2.2. Importance of the question (why it is important to discuss this argument)
3. Thesis statement - Express your view
OP aryaayra 7 / 16  
Apr 29, 2014   #3
aryaayra:
Due TV's shows or Films already show a travel and a story as their reports or presents.
Where is your subject in this sentence? Please reread it to identify where the mistake is.

I forgot to put 'to'..
it's mean ' Due to TV's shows or Films already show a travel and a story as their reports...
am i still wrong, Jhonies? :(


Home / Writing Feedback / Learn more about another country by watching tv programmes and films about it
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳