Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Task 2: Learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films



akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 5, 2015   #1
Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Some people believe that they get more knowledge about another country by following television shows and films about it than by directly vacationing it. However, there has situations which people cannot sense except those do not visit directly such as unique traditionalism in another country.

Those who support watching television shows and film about another country believe that these activities will get more knowledge about it and do not need plenty of budgets and time. A wide range of television stations displayed program which the audience were guided to surround a country. For example, the television station has visiting programs which its reporter will surround a country and also guide audience to learn about historic places, special food, traditional dance, and etc. In addition, people also get information about another country by films such as people who want to add knowledge about Japan can buy film DVD which illustrate Japanese character and its buildings.

However, I believe that people cannot get all information by watching television shows and films about the country because there has a situation which is not known except those felt directly. To illustrate, person who wants to investigate about Germany cannot know how to Germany's social atmosphere, people character, and unique traditionalism except it visit there because its senses must feel directly. People will get different experience and surprised sensation although they must take out more budgets.

In conclusion, although person can get more knowledge about another country and do not need a great deal of budgets by following television shows and films, there has a situation which people cannot sense except those do not visit directly. If person likes and want to get more information about another country, it should plan to visit there.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Nov 5, 2015   #2
Akbar, this would have been a well rounded and developed essay if only you had used the correct English words to discuss or describe certain topics within your essay. The message of your essay, that you believe that people cannot learn everything about a country just by watching the TV documentaries uses valid reasons to support it and contains information that some people who prefer to watch the tourist programs on TV may not be conscious of. However, there was a slight mistake in your conclusion. You seem to have presented a personal opinion as a part of the end of the essay.

As a general rule, no additional ideas can be reflected in a conclusion so you cannot really call what you wrote a conclusion. Rather, it is the paragraph before the conclusion. The conclusion is just a summary of the discussion and your reasons plus opinions. Those errors aside though, the essay can stand on its own and can be understood provided the reader knows how to mentally correct your wrong descriptive words. Let me help you detect the problem words in your essay below:


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 2: Learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳