Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

You learn foreign languages because you are going to work or travel in a particular country. IELTS

plamchiiii 3 / 4 2  
Sep 11, 2017   #1

Foreign languages knowledge

Question: Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or to work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.

Answer: In modern times there are many courses and schools for learning a foreign language such as English, Spanish, French, Russian. The most common reason for studying a foreign language is because you are going to work or to travel in a particular country. But nowadays people start learning a different language not only for this but also because they want to enrich their culture and to communicate with more and more people.

Firstly, travelling and working in a foreign country without knowing the native language is one of the most difficult things. For instance if I am going to work in some German company I will be obliged to learn Germany because without knowing it I will not be able to communicate with the other people if they don't know English for example. But in our everyday life not many people can separate time and money for studying language just for pleasure and this is one of the reasons why people learn a foreign language when it's necessary.

Secondly, there are many people who just learn a foreign language because it is a pleasure for them to know more about the country or the people who live there. There are so many websites that you can communicate with people all over the world and to exchange information about the life in the different areas of the world. For example I have a friend whose favorite country is Japan. She is so attached to it that she started to learn the language because she wanted to find more about their culture and to communicate with Japanese people.

All in all, no matter what you work or where you live knowing and studying a foreign language always will be an advantage for you because you will be able to find work easier, to communicate with different people and to enrich you knowledges.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4249  
Sep 11, 2017   #2
Plamena, you have presented the discussion topic in the original prompt, but you failed to provide me with a copy of the discussion instruction. What are the rules that were preset for you when it comes to the discussion of the topic? I am not clear as to how you were expected to discuss this essay and what sort of information it should contain because you provided the incomplete prompt. As it is, your opening paraphrase seems to be missing some major required elements. I just can't put my finger on what those missing or improper portions are because of the less than complete prompt that you provided. Please remember to post the complete original prompt, with the discussion instructions included the next time around. For now, you will get a general review for this essay.

Do not start any sentence with the word "but". "But" connotes that there is a previous idea that you would like to continue discussing in the same sentence. Since you were presenting a new sentence, you cannot use a connecting word at the start. Your vocabulary skills can use improvement. Remember, the language is German and the country is Germany. You should learn German (the language), not Germany (the country).

Your concluding paragraph did not do you any favors either. You continued to discuss additional information in relation to the previous discussion. That is not the information that should be located in the concluding paragraph. The concluding paragraph should only present a quick run down of the aforementioned topic and reasons (not) supporting the discussion. Any additional information should be located in a separate paragraph before the conclusion. Since you only have a 5 paragraph maximum requirement, you should avoid presenting additional ideas in the concluding paragraph.
OP plamchiiii 3 / 4 2  
Sep 11, 2017   #3
Thank you for your corrections and i really have difficulties in writing conclusions because i should write the same like in the introduction but with other words.Can you give me an advice how to cope with this problem? :)
daiha20082009 6 / 9  
Sep 12, 2017   #4
In your opening, you should add an emotional statement like I strongly agree with to show which side you are supporting. Another one is that you are using for instance, just enough, no need to add for example in the same sentence after all. Your vocabularies are simple, for me, you should add some more academic words or sentences to support your essay

Home / Writing Feedback / You learn foreign languages because you are going to work or travel in a particular country. IELTS