Ielts task 2 - E-learning programs

study at home or attending college / university?

Topic: Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post,TV,internet...)to study at home. But some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

In the light of technological advancements, it is widely acknowledged that human's needs about learning has radically changed over the past few decades. One of the most remarkable developments has been the way distance learning used commonly. However, many people argue that this method can not gain the same advantages as the traditional form of university education. In my opinion, I believe that distance learning bring more drawbacks than benefits.

On the positive side, without any doubt, distance learning requires the saving of both time and money aspects for not only teacher but also learners. The time studying is actually flexible which means that students could learn any time allowed and wherever. Take the recent days as an example, although students have had to be absent from schools because of the outbreak of Covid-19 virus, many schools has tended to make their students study online through social networks.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that distance learning breakthroughs have had an adverse bearing on the way students study. First and foremost, students who are lack of self-control would feel unmotivated for learning. Besides, at universities, they could interact with their peers and their mentors, which leaves no chance for such kind of problem to occur. Moreover, distance learning is likely to divert students' attention from their study. Students would be distracted by online games and other respects, which may result in falling behind their peers or bad habits.

In conclusion, it is undeniable about the influence of distance learning on education. However, in my opinion, it could never replace such benefits attending colleges brings.

WARNING ! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE ESSAYS !!! STUDENT SCORING = SUSPENSION !!!

Oops! You almost had the perfect prompt paraphrase. You got the creative restatement of the topic and reason for the discussion properly paraphrased, though not grammatically perfect. The problem, is that you failed to respond properly to the question being asked in the original prompt:

The Question: Do you agree or disagree?
Your Response: In my opinion, I believe that distance learning bring more drawbacks than benefits.

Drawbacks than benefits? Where did that come from? There was no reference to such a question in the prompt presentation. A simple agree/ disagree response would have sufficed. Based on your explanation, it appears to me that you might have responded to the question in the following manner:

I agree with the latter statement due to some personal considerations that I will be happy to present in this discussion.

From that point, all you had to do was present 2 reasons as to why your support of the lacking benefits when compared to a university education. Each reason should have been in 2 separate paragraphs. That would have shown a strong support for your position and also given a sense of coherence and cohesiveness to your discussion. Instead, you chose to do a comparative essay discussion.

The comparative essay discussion is not what is required in this essay. The strongest reasoning essay always manages to punch holes into the discussion of the opposing side. All without having to do a comparative discussion as you did in this essay. Right now, all of your paragraphs have under developed reasons and explanations. You focused on giving reasons, but not on explaining the reasons, which further weakened your discussion presentation.