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Life cycle of bees, their growth in different periods and average life expectancy from eggs to adult



BichPhuong83 1 / -  
Aug 18, 2020   #1

IELTS Writing task 1: Life cycle of bees



The diagram clearly illustrates about life cycle of bees, their growth in different periods and average life expectancy, from eggs to adult.

As it can be seen, the lifespan of bees takes 34 to 36 days and it can be deviced in 6 distinct periods. It's special that, after emerged from eggs, their growth come from their moults.

The circle of bees' life starts from eggs. Bees' eggs hatch after 9-10 days self-incubate. After emerge 5 days, young bee, also named nymph, shed for the first time and live with that size in 7 days. Then, nymphs moults for the second time for bigger size. They experience the period for 9 days before the last moults and emerge to young adult.

Young adult need 4 more days to get maturity condition. In this stage, female lays 1 to 2 eggs every three days to make a new generation to maintain their offspring.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Aug 18, 2020   #2
The presentation is too short for you to be properly graded by the examiner. With only 152 words, you have not really tried to show off your English analytical and reporting skills. You only wrote enough to meet the word requirement, but not enough to increase your scoring potential. That scoring potential is achieved within 175-190 words. Your presentation is good, but has the potential to be better. You should try to present a longer report next time. Try to study the image more, look for ways to present it interestingly in the report. Spice up your presentation a bit. It is too dry and doesn't use enough English words to really show your writing abilities. Look for longer paragraph presentations. If you use the 3 paragraph format instead of the 4 paragraph presentation, you will find that you will be able to write more and also, come up with a more interesting presentation. Your paragraph count needs to be consistent when presenting sentence reports. Always use between 3-5 sentences so that you avoid run-on presentations, which is the most common error in your current presentation. That along with spelling, cohesiveness and coherence problems, and formality in word usage problems combine to even further lower your potential to get a passing grade with this presentation. Avoid using contractions like "it's". Always spell it out. This is an academic presentation after all. Word shortcuts are frowned upon and affect your score.


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