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'life is never flat' - Media as a way to help each other


Zihni92 3 / 8  
Feb 3, 2015   #1
IELTS Task II
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singer or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinady people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree.


The common type of amusement which a media entertainment has generally contained about lifestyles of famous people. Some people believe that luxury style can influence their lifestyle and it happened to all at once. A part of those fields consisted of affiliation and reside. The main role of the media in getting an interest in the viewer so it can increase the rate of their program. Nevertheless, there are some people think that the broadcast committee should change the media habitable and should give more attention to real lifestyle.

Group of people who say 'yes' in the case of media should entertain so they must show something that can produce the viewers happy, a head of life style some people in west Indonesia, for example way of Syahrini's life which tell viewers about shopping, and traveling to tourism area. This program can make point of view on the glamour of lifestyle.

On the other hand, some people believe that many people still needs help. We can see in some place in Indonesia which consist of different condition in each island. Due to the way of life, Indonesia has different condition between in the east and west part of Indonesia. Furthermore, some people life in poor condition for example in Grogos island, East Maluku which the native citizen life without an electricity. They need our help to improve their area.

To sum up, I believe that 'life is never flat' shows us on the media as the core of entertainment should give an amusing and an education for the watcher, like it is a way of life. It will be better if the director of the media should apply to combining the program between famous and poor lifestyle without making bored the viewer, they can combine both of them to produce something new like life in urban and sub district. This action is needed to make the watcher can see in real life must help each other.

somasalims 15 / 27 5  
Feb 3, 2015   #2
Hi Zihni, let me attempt to give some advice:
-You should write "A group of people who agree with the statement..." because your sentence is quite informal.
-Try to give fully detail example (use 5W1H questions)
-If this is one idea paragraph, the pattern should be:
Main topic -> Reason -> Example -> Result -> Conclusion
ayulia 3 / 8 1  
Feb 3, 2015   #3
hi Zihni, let me to rewrite your intro.

Nowadays, the common types of mass media more likely to show the lifestyle of public figures to entertain the viewers. While it is acceptable, i strongly believe that media, as a communication connector between government and citizen, should report much more about everything happened to ordinary people in the society.

The common type of amusement which a media entertainment has generally contained about lifestyles of famous people.

the word which for noun clause is followed by verb.

Group of people who say 'yes' in the case of media should entertain so they must show something that can produce the viewers happy, a head of life style some people in west Indonesia, for example way of Syahrini's life which tell viewers about shopping, and traveling to tourism area.

maybe you should add article after group of people and be careful about subject and verb agreement.

people still needs help. We can see in some places in Indonesia which are consist of different condition in each island. Indonesia has differents condition. Furthermore, some people life in the poor condition for example in Grogos island, East Maluku, which is the native citizen life without an electricity.

CMIIW
ruwchii 6 / 18 3  
Feb 3, 2015   #4
It will be better if the director of the media should apply to combining(use to infinitive verb) the program between famous and poor lifestyle(s)without making bored the viewerwithout making the viewer bored they can combine both of them to produce something new like life in urban and sub district. This action is needed to make the watcher can see in real life must help each other.
mumtazdinar 12 / 15 12  
Feb 6, 2015   #5
Hi Zihni92, these are some suggestions:

Zihni92:
Nevertheless, there are some people think

It better you use "other ", because you already mentioned "some " in the first opinion.

"Nevertheless, other people think "

Zihni92:
citizen life without an electricity

uncountable noun
OP Zihni92 3 / 8  
Feb 28, 2015   #6
Hi Cuynomellen and Mumtazdinar

Thanks you for your correction


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