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'Life standards and food preparation these days' - criticize my essay



Dcool 2 / 3  
Oct 14, 2012   #1
Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Food is one of the necessities in our daily life to keep us alive and performance our daily job. Today food has been developing in new ways. Now it's easy to prepare and reform living standard of people. So, they do not need to spend much time.

With the developing technology helps everything is improving also in preparing food. Preparing food has been a lot easier than before. Now food is easy to prepare and also taste is improving as well. The best reason for us to prepare food easily is to save time. Everyone has a busy work schedule and some of us are struggling between work and school. When foods are easy to arrange we can spare some time on study or other stuff. The young generations of us see time as money. During all day, we prefer to order fast food in spite of spending a lot of time in the kitchen to prepare food. Therefore, we would use every hands of it to make food in less time.

Now they made ready-to-eat meals for busy schedule people. Some people they don't have time and didn't have to spend so much money on take-out foods. Take out foods expensive for every day, as well as who didn't like to cook. Ready-made meals can get anywhere nowadays. It is quick and easy to use and taste is not so bad also. Since everything is changing in our daily life. I think preparing food also developed is not surprise. But the surprised that I have is the taste and healthy way of making food. Ready-made foods are not very healthy. But it is edible if you consider it. So way of living is entirely changed and old foods tradition has been modified. The life standard is improving with the changing food habits.

In my conclusion, People can find more time to earn , therefore their next generations live more comfortably.

karinaestrada16 3 / 6  
Oct 14, 2012   #2
I like your point but i think you should find a way to improve your sentences. For example don't use "In conclusion" or use a dictionary to add more complex words in your essay. Just my opinon, if you feel comfortable with your writing, please ignore my comment! I think you answered the question very good! :)
Alyssa 3 / 6  
Oct 15, 2012   #3
Food is one of the necessities in our daily life to keep us alive and performance our daily job. Today food has been developing in new ways. Now it's easy to prepare and reform living standard of people. So, they do not need to spend much time.

Personal opinions:
I do not think you point out your own idea directly which is vague when I read your sentences.
You might improve your topic sentence and try to link every sentence well.
partooz 5 / 13  
Oct 15, 2012   #4
It is difficult to identify the topic sentence in your essay. I would suggest making your first sentence your thesis statement. In other words, choose your position, answer the question, and formulate your essay behind your answer. You also show signs of redundancy when you talk about "saving time". I would also avoid cliches like "time is money". You also have a bunch of common grammar errors in almost every sentence; I would suggest rewriting the essay. I know where you are going with this essay, and I like it. However, I would work on the common mechanics as mentioned.
chocolatte 1 / 2  
Oct 15, 2012   #5
- Some of the wording is a bit awkward.
- Proofread your writing
- Your sentences are short. It makes the whole paragraph sound "choppy" when read aloud

You answered the question well though.
OP Dcool 2 / 3  
Oct 15, 2012   #6
Thanks everyone for read my essay and feed back. I'll keep in mind you guys suggestion.
Nnorbu 2 / 4  
Oct 18, 2012   #7
Agree with chocolatte, the essay should be proofread. Few, grammatical and comma errors etc.
Answered the prompt well though
Cheers
humanx 3 / 5  
Oct 20, 2012   #8
there is a lot of inconvenient words and even the topic sentence is not that clear


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