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Life style -- the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside.

tekinirfani 1 / -  
Sep 5, 2019   #1
In recent years migration toward the bigger cities has embarked serious concerns about rapid city expansion. While some are advocating the city life others still prefer to live in rural or smaller neighborhoods and both groups have considerable arguments to support their view.

In one hand, being the center of business and commerce make the cities to be a very inviting destination for many professionals. Not only cities offer higher wages and job opportunities but also they usually provide wider range of institutions to learn new skills. On the other hand, over-population as a major result of this trend brings the issue of the over-business and the insufficient personal life. For example, I had to quite my yoga lessons when I could no longer manage to finish my routine tasks because of wasting my limited time in heavy traffics quite often.

The another major impact of moving to cities is the higher life expenses in compare to rural areas. Obviously, the higher demand for the land, the higher rent requests which in some cities it could reach up to %50 of the minimum salary. In contrast, living in small towns could financially advantageous due to the relatively cheaper expenses but it is not necessarily a better investment . For example, the housing market boom happens usually much faster with higher rates in cities which makes it a perfect short term revenue. A condominium unit in downtown Toronto could cost almost a house price in a smaller town but the price jump will soon compensate the expensive price in the first place and double the initial payment in 5 years.

Whether living in cities or rural locations is depend on one's life style, aims and interests. While easier and more peaceful life in rural location could be enough reasons for some to say, the big city life and the opportunities it offers could be a good motivation for others. It might be a beneficial to assess ourselves properly and get advice before choosing where to live.

jocelyne001 6 / 17 9  
Sep 10, 2019   #2

I have some suggestions for you.

Personally speaking, the structure of the essay is not clear. At the beginning of the second paragraph, you talk about the advantage of living in cities, and then the disadvantage of inhabiting in cities is told. This is OK. However, in the third paragraph, the first point is confusing because you use moving to cites as the subject which might let readers assume that you are going to discuss the life in cities again. I think maybe you can try to emphasize more the subject of life in countrysides, using conjunctions like while to make it clearer. Also, using words like advantage and disadvantage, merit and demerit would help readers to follow your arguments, so people do not need to guess what you want to say in your sentences ( impact is not sufficient to be clear ).

Furthermore, there are some basic grammar mistakes in your essay, such as
While some advocate the city life, others still prefer to live in rural areas or smaller neighborhoods, and both groups have several arguments to support their views.

I believe you can check your essay again and revise the mistakes.

Hope my suggestions are helpful
Hassan91 1 / 3  
Sep 10, 2019   #3
Hi,I hope you are doing well with your IELTS Exam.
I think your essay is not clear enough or it easy to understand.

For example, the question asked about the advantages and disadvantages, but the essay is in favor of one side of the argument, not both.
I believe it is better to separate one paragraph for advantages to live in the city compare to live in the countryside, and the other for disadvantages to live in the city in comparison with the countryside with sufficient examples and explanations for each one.

In conclusion, you need to be clear and specific to elaborate the idea that you presented previously.

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