Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


LIFESTYLES comparison essay - families in Asian and Western countries



tuan_minh929 1 / -  
Aug 24, 2012   #1
The lifestyles of families in Asian and Western countries are often very different

In Vietnam as well as many Asian countries, most children live at home with their families until they are married. After the wedding, a newlywed couple may still live with the husband's family. The Vietnamese bride's duties usually include taking care of the husband family's home, serving the husband's parents and his sister and brothers.

While this living arrangement is customary in the East, it is not a likely option for most British couples. In England, a bride living with her in-law would be unthinkable. This could destroy a marriage. It is well known that a bride never wants to live with her mother-in-law.

In China, it is common for many generations of one family to live in the same houses. It would be disrespectful if a Chinese child moved out of the family home. Most Chinese are used to living with each other. Thay enjoy a certain lack of privacy. Chinese homes are always bustling with the cries and laughter of children and adults. in old age, people are comforted knowing that they will live with their children and grandchildren. They will not have to fear being lonely.

This type of living arrangement is unusual in America. America children usually leave their parents' home once they are old enough to support themselves. A young adult that still lives with his parents is considered to be immature and dependent. Most Americans like to live extremely private lives.

HiraSaleem 1 / 2  
Aug 24, 2012   #2
The sentences are too short and choppy. Mix it up, join some clauses with a colon. Also it just seems like it's listing facts; there's no anecdotes or examples. They would really make it fun to read. There's no separation of thought either. It's good content, but it just needs some work.
freakosaur 1 / 7  
Aug 26, 2012   #3
It needs more emotion and excitement to capture the reader's attention. Has alot of information and substance, but kind of a bland paper. Feels like a book report.


Home / Writing Feedback / LIFESTYLES comparison essay - families in Asian and Western countries
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳