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Limit absurd contents from children viewing - filtering the Internet access at home as a solution



Alison 5 / 13  
Feb 3, 2014   #1
The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

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During the past few decades, the use of the Internet has increased tremendously, changing the way people do things in their everyday lives. Although the use of the web has numerous benefits, it is undeniable that it also brings negative impacts on our society.

Firstly, with the help of the Internet, people can access pornography and offensive contents just with one click. This extensive exposure to inappropriate media might lead vulnerable youngsters to undesirable thoughts or even to commit crimes. Moreover, the web has adverse effects on working adults too. It can be seen that many employees nowadays are surfing the net for contents that are irrelevant to work during the office hour. As a result, they become less productive and often not able to finish their work on time. Last but not least, the Internet is sometimes a great source of rumours. For example, recently, there was a rumour on the net that an Islamic group burnt down a Buddhist's house in Myanmar. This small rumour sparked serious conflicts between the two religions and there have been continuous fights between them until now.

One obvious solution to limit absurd contents from children viewing is for parents to filter the Internet access at home. This can easily be done by using high technologies available today. The government also should take part in censorship of media as well. In workplace, employee should be educated and persuaded to use the web only for job related research. Besides, employers can also block the most common social websites, such as facebook. Another way to tackle with problem the Internet brings is for the government to set up a transparent channel for information flow. By this, I mean there should be more debates and discussions on the topics that are popular on the web. By doing so, citizens will be able to understand the situation more clearly and can differentiate between rumours and true information.

In conclusion, despite all the above drawbacks of the Internet, if we take counter measurements to these problems, on both individual level and government level, I believe the Internet would be a wonderful tool.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 3, 2014   #2
Firstly, with the help of the Internet, people can access pornography and offensive contents just with one click.

First, with just one click, the Internet enables people to have access to pornography and offensive contents.
You write very well and I enjoyed reading your essay. You would surely go for a good band.
Letwind 2 / 2  
Feb 3, 2014   #3
I think your essay is very well written. Your good thoughts have been supported by a wide range of appropriate vocabulary. My only suggestion would be your use of connectors in your essay. "By this", for example, looks to me not to be a natural use of English.
Arun0506 27 / 119  
Feb 3, 2014   #4
Although the use of the web has numerous benefits, it is undeniable that it also brings negative impacts on our society.

Although there are numerous benefits associated with the internet, we cannot overlook some of the concerns which it has given raise to in our society

I can see different drawbacks highlighted here rather talking about socialization again and again. Good luck!!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 3, 2014   #5
Hi Alison

Grammatical Mechanics, Lexical Resource... You did GOOD job!

The question:

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

The Introduction:

During the past few decades, the use of the Internet has increased tremendously, changing the way people do things in their everyday lives. Although the use of the web has numerous benefits, it is undeniable that it also brings negative impacts on our society.

I try to make a slight alteration to introduction:

During the past few decades, the use of the Internet has increased tremendously, changing the way people do things in their everyday lives. It is undeniable that this has caused several problems, but it is highly likely that we'll be able to tackle the problems with some measures. .
OP Alison 5 / 13  
Feb 3, 2014   #6
Thank you all for the valuable suggestions. I truly appreciate it.

Body para 1; First reason for your opinion/ position + Specific example to support that reason
Body para 2 ; Second reason + example

Pahan, I used the structure of 'Body para1 : answering What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? and Body para2 : answering What solutions can you suggest?'. How do you think of this approach?
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 4, 2014   #7
I think you have followed a good structure for this essay topic. It is not a general issue topic which asks you to either agree or disagree. In this you discuss the main problems in the first body para and the solutions you suggest in the second body para. That's perfectly alright. What Pahan has suggested you to do is generally the best one for Agree/ Disagree type. It's still worth having a look at that structure because it is a very logical one that will certainly help you with most of the IELTS tasks.

You write extremely well :)
OP Alison 5 / 13  
Feb 7, 2014   #8
Thanks, dumi. That's very encouraging.
I'm aiming for a band 8 but I'm still struggling to finish writing in time. I always take more than 40 minutes to complete an essay.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 9, 2014   #9
This is quite natural with all candidates, especially when the exam date approaches :D
However, you do not have to worry too much about this task as you have good writing skills and it is a matter of gaining confidence in you. Keep practicing with time. As tips to complete it on time, I'd suggest you to follow the essays structure we suggested and make sure you have the main features in the first go. For example, in the intro, quickly introduce the topic by paraphrasing the title and then express your opinion. (Have a standard phrase for all your essays so that you do not have to plan it at the exam). Finish your essay in that skeleton form and when you have extra time come back to intro and add a hook. Then move to the first body para and elaborate more on your reason or example.

Also, read others' essays here on this forum to note down the points :)
You'll do fine at the exam :)


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