IELTS Writing Task 1 - The line graph of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students at Sheffield University

The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009.

The line graph depicts the enrolment rate of students from three distinct countries at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009.
Overall, the figure for Iranian and Turkish scholars applying to the university saw an upward trend. In contrast, the number of those from Greece experienced an inverse tendency at the same time.

Initially, the figures for Iran and Turkey were relatively the same, with a difference of merely 20 students. More than a year later, the number of enrolling students from Turkey surpassed that of Iran, after which the former experienced a much deeper surge than the latter did. The following years witnessed a steady growth in both figures, in addition to a significant increase of more than 50 in the number of Iranian students in 2008. Consequently, Iran and Turkey hit their peaks at 160 and 120, respectively.

Meanwhile, starting at 180 students, the figure for Greek scholars was exceptionally higher than the rest; however, it then experienced a substantial downward trend by more than a half. After this, one-year stability was witnessed in 2007, followed by a noticeable fall in 2009 to less than a quarter, compared to the initial figure.

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@vyvan
"50 ... in 2008", this can be better written as 50 in the number of Iranian students in 2008

You have to fully utilize the data from the presentation. That means cite the figures early on in the presentation. Your report is lacking in information because you are just offering comparisons without basis. Your data is questionable as you do not refer to the actual measurements until almost the last part of your presentation. The figures have to be used throughout the essay, from beginning to end. Additionally, your comparisons do not pay any attention to the overlapping information from the middle of 2006 and the start of 2007. These are the most obvious figures in the presentation so I am wondering why you failed to discuss this information in an essay that asks you to make comparisons where relevant. Those overlapping measurements most certainly fall under the important comparison points. Those are the 2 sections that will actually show your analytical ability and help you score better in the C&C section.

@Holt
That was such a fatal mistake in my writing. Thanks for pointing that out.