Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Task 1 - The line graph shows the data regarding the book's purchased in four European countries



wahyutri13 10 / 13  
Jan 18, 2016   #1
The line graph shows the data regarding the book's purchased four different country in Europe. The data set was taken over a 10-year period starting from 1995 to 2005 and is measured in millions of US dollars. The most obvious pieces of information are that the number of money spent on books in Germany was the highest level and changed gradually over the period of observation.

To begin, Germany book's purchased stood at $80 millions in 1995, over the following four years began from 1995 to 1999, there was a slight rose to $90 millions. In 2003, money spent on books in Germany decreased minimally then increased sharply to $95 millions in 2005. It was always became the highest level of money spent than the other three country.

Next, France and Italy have a same trend on book's purchased. They began at a fairly similar level of between $50 and $60 millions in 1995. France book's purchased rose gradually and reached at $75 millions in the end of period, but while the amount of money spent on books in Italy grew slightly over the following two years then fell at $50 millions in 1999. However, it was increased gradually until the end of period. In contrast, Austria book's purchased became exists in the third position at near $75 millions for the level of money spent after it was overtook Italy book's purchased in 2003.

The line graph shows the data regarding the book's purchased four different country in Europe. The data set was taken over a 10-year period starting from 1995 to 2005 and is measured in millions of US dollars. The most obvious pieces of information are that the number of money spent on books in Germany was the highest level and changed gradually over the period of observation.

To begin, Germany book's purchased stood at $80 millions in 1995, over the following four years began from 1995 to 1999, there was a slight rose to $90 millions. In 2003, money spent on books in Germany decreased minimally then increased sharply to $95 millions in 2005. It was always became the highest level of money spent than the other three country.

Next, France and Italy have a same trend on book's purchased. They began at a fairly similar level of between $50 and $60 millions in 1995. France book's purchased rose gradually and reached at $75 millions in the end of period, but while the amount of money spent on books in Italy grew slightly over the following two years then fell at $50 millions in 1999. However, it was increased gradually until the end of period. In contrast, Austria book's purchased became exists in the third position at near $75 millions for the level of money spent after it was overtook Italy book's purchased in 2003.


  • money_spent.jpg


vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 18, 2016   #2
Please avoid double posting the same essay in a single thread. It makes editing the essay difficult. I only edited one version your essay within this thread.

... purchased IN four different country COUNTRIES ...
... obvious pieces of information ...

... purchased stood ...
... years began from ...
... slight rose INCREASE to $90 millions .
... $95 millions in 2005.
It was always became...
... other three country COUNTRIES.

... have a THE same...
France'S book's purchased ...
... but while the ...
However, it was increased ...
Austria'S book's purchased ...
... became exists WAS in the
...$75 millions ...
...was overtook OVERTAKEN BY ...
...Italy'S book's purchased ...

There were no real content problems with your essay. The information was precise and only needed little editing. The language you used was simple enough to convey your explanation. Try to use more complex vocabularies in the next practice essay. You should always work on improving your vocabulary because the more complex English words you use, the better your score result will be.


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 1 - The line graph shows the data regarding the book's purchased in four European countries
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳