Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Live performance neccesity

HoyEu 1 / 1  
Jun 29, 2022   #1
Nowadays, live performances such as concerts and recitals are no longer necessary since these can be viewed online.

Do you agree or disagree?

The lockdowns brought about by the global pandemic have greatly impacted the music industry forcing them to explore and expand online platforms to share their artistry which was well-received by the public.

To begin, unlike in a live performance, the sound that will be heard and the images that will be seen would greatly be different, depending on the quality of equipment used by both the production and the user, as well as the processing capacity of the streaming sites. With the numerous processes undergone by the sound and images before it reaches the eyes and ears of the audience, the resulting experience will vary for each viewer. For instance, a person with a high-end speaker and strong internet connection will be able to listen with better sound clarity and watch on a higher resolution than someone with budget earphones and a lagging internet. This will result in an inconsistent individual experience.

What makes it less ideal is the lack of actual interaction not only for the fans but also for the performers. The authenticity of attending shows for most concert-goers, on one hand, is to be able to see artists up close and if fortunate enough, be able to converse with them through words or actions which is not possible in an online stream, although there could be opportunities to virtually interact like live chat rooms and shoutouts. On the other hand, for entertainers, it is the validation that they can receive through claps, for example, and other means that can only be possible in a live setting. Consequently, both sides would not be able to fully enjoy the experience.

In conclusion, since the accuracy and genuineness of artistic concerts are greatly impacted and vary, it is clear that live performances are still essential and relevant despite the availability of virtual platforms.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,669 4754  
Jun 30, 2022   #2
The opening paragraph fails to represent the interpretation of the original prompt as required by the task. The writer does not respond to the discussion question either. The introduction via restatement and opinion sharing has failed to accomplish the expected format considerations and response structure. The preliminary score will be failing since the introduction has altered the discussion requirements from the original prompt. An established restatement and opinion were not presented at the start, nor was it presented at the end. The essay is definitely going to receive a failing score for not adhering to the examination regulations for this task.

Let me be clear though, the discussion paragraphs are on point, coherent, and cohesive. Those will receive full scoring marks as deemed fit by the examiner. However, well developed reasoning paragraphs cannot help achieve a passing score when the prompt considerations were not properly represented at the beginning and end of the presentation. The failing score could have been offset a bit had he indicated a relevant and direct response to the question provided in both sections.
OP HoyEu 1 / 1  
Jun 30, 2022   #3
Thank you for your feedback. Would it be able to directly answer the question had I put the one below instead?
In this age of the Internet and social media, engaging with a wider range of audience has never been easy and more affordable. Numerous industries such as media networks, food businesses and retailers, have even started to shift to a fully digital business model. With the rising popularity of virtual concerts on various streaming online platforms, it is imperative to reexamine the value of live performances, and whether it is still a necessity.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Live performance neccesity
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳