Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Living in a big city or staying a village



kimhong123 1 / -  
Jul 14, 2020   #1
alization and modernization makes the lifestyle in a city and in the village are obviously different. Consequently, choosing a place to spend your life, your time has always been something to wonder by many people. Many people concern that living in a city is the best choice to live because of its advantages over a village. Meanwhile, my thought is to against this notion and I would like to stay in a village instead of living in a big city for some reason.

First and foremost, the living cost in a village is much cheaper than in a city. Nowadays, you may have to work long hours a day to earn money to buy a house or land in the city but it much affordable in the village. Because in a village, people usually tend to grown your own foods so you can easily buy it straight from the farmer itself. But if you think most of the goods in the village are of poor quality, you are wrong. In rural areas, the goods are not only cheaper but also as good as the city. So if you stay in a village, you can save a lot of money.

Secondly, village life is often safer than in a city in many ways. In the city, the air is heavily polluted due to a large amount of emissions from factories, vehicles, etc. Not only that, but the water source is also seriously polluted, which makes people often lack clean water. In contrast, the fresh air in the village will be more comfortable, which makes people healthy and full of energy. In addition, traffic congestion in big cities occurs most often, during rush hours, which not only slows down human activities but also causes traffic accidents. In particular, the situation of theft in the city often occurs that peoples always fear and be alert to every situation. So you can see that it is much safer to live in a small village.

Last but not least, the people staying in the village are warmer and friendlier. People in there are closer and more often connected with many activities rather than just stay indoors like in the city. They live together in a village that they can assist each other in any situation. This helps them to be as close as those who live under one roof and help them know their neighbor very well. On the contrary, people are so busy that they little know about their neighbors, sometimes even not knowing their neighbors. This makes life in the countryside more valuable because people interact more with each other, which helps them relieve stress after hours of work.

In conclusion, staying in a village is a perfect choice for a few reasons: low cost, safety, and the people here. Nevertheless, living in a big city or staying in a village which has its own advantages and disadvantages based on one's interests and personality.

yenmy 2 / 2  
Jul 14, 2020   #2
Hi!
"makes the lifestyle in a city ..." should be "make the lifestyle in the cities and in the villages obviously different".

Also, you can replace the word "city" by "urban area", "metropolitan city", and use "rural area", "countryside" instead of repeating "village".
Hope this help.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15370  
Jul 15, 2020   #3
You did not include the prompt so do not expect a review of your written response. Your posting, which is incomplete as it starts in the middle of the presentation rather than at the start will only get a minimal review.

For starters, a task 2 essay should only be 275-290 words. It is not a research paper so it should not have 491 words in it. Whether it be a CBT or a pencil test, there is no way you can write that many words and still be able to review for errors and corrections within the 40 minute allotment. I do not know how many times I have to say this, long essays create more error chances than simple and medium length essays. This essay is another example of how the number of words forced errors that can prevent the essay from passing because the errors were not corrected, thus lowering the quality and clarity of the discussion.

Spelling Errors:
alization - I do not even know what you were trying to spell here.
neighbor (US) - neighbour (UK)

Grammar:
tend to grown - grow (use the proper verb form)
So if you stay - So, if you... (always use a comma after an introductory word of phrase)


Home / Writing Feedback / Living in a big city or staying a village
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳