Living individual or staying in apartments is better

Where each and every person present day is interested to live in apartments instead of independent home because mostly they feel insecure. Living in city they can get any information/food etc... They can easily locate anything in compared to individual homes. People who are interested in constructing individual home they will choose particular area for constructing and due to this they will be far away from city.

According to my view living in city premises is better option, mainly for office/school/shopping etc. Living in apartments we can interact easily with neighbors, we can move friendly with others and share well our good times and best things which located in city. If our family members/neighbors suffering from bad health we can help them easily, and help them in moving forward in their respective path.

While living in individual house we have some advantages like growing plants/pets we can live freely in compare to apartments. Living individual makes us to feel alone when everyone is busy with their works in home; it also feels insecure to live individual. While constructing individual home we have to be aware of security mainly because we live separately and individually. If we need help regarding personal/house hold repair, no one will locate nearby and may take hours to rectify the job to be done.

If we stay in apartment we feel secure and if any problem occurs, many will come forward to help finical/support. We can all to be together like a single family and helping out each and every problem to rectify as soon as possible. Students of same age can easily interact and they can easily help out in studies/not only studies they can play game like together and beautiful memories will take place.

Finally living in spacious home is advantages but we have to take care a lot. Relationship also matters in every aspect. Most of them will feel insecure to live in individual home even though having huge amounts, because money doesn't exist life long relationship play major role in all aspects. So I feel happy when I stay in apartments.

Hey you say ...Living in city they can get any information/food etc... -----> who is "they"? in first line you say " each and every person" is singular...

we use pronoun in our writing when we recently we used noun.

It is better to say ...."Living in city people can get any information/food "

They can easily locate anything in compared to individual homes...
why "anything" and why not "everywhere" because you use locate

about your idea...in first paragraph ,..you say at the first sentence
Where each and every person present day is interested to live in apartments instead of independent home because mostly they feel insecure .

you insecure but talk about construction it is not relate each other. when you say about something you can explain that things in detail.

your first paragraph has not coherence.

It would better you say "detached"

In toefl essay is it acceptable you say your own ideas in body paragraph? It would better you say it in conclusion.

In ..." Living in apartments we can interact easily with neighbors, we can move friendly with others and share well our good times and best things which located in city."

it would better you say about common sense. ..."Living in apartments may share common sense with neighbor and interact easily."

instead of "While living in individual house we have some advantages like growing plants/pets " ...it would better you say "nurture"

don't say "in home" say "at home"

..."While constructing individual home we have to be aware of security mainly because we live separately and individually. " this idea repeat again.

it would better you say about cozy ,... or comfortable position/surrounding...

You say ..."If we need help regarding personal/house hold repair, no one will locate nearby and may take hours to rectify the job to be done"

rectify means correct errors , I'd better said "reconstruct" you mean you need helping someone else to reconstruction home ....?

And ultimately your good ideas remain dormant just in conclusion.

It would better explain them in your body clearly.

....this sentence soudsvery confusing. You should introduce your prompt
In a more simple, yet interesting way. Do not crowd your sentences unnecessarily. Tell your ideas in a more direct and simple manner and let them flow logically.

I suggest you to follow this structure:
Introduction: intoduce yourv topic. State your opnion.
Body para 1: State the 1st reason for your opinion. Provide an example to support thatreason
Body para 2: 2nd reason + example
Conclusion : yur final statement about your position

thanks a lot for making corrections in my essay.! :)

Hi Naveen,
I would like to help you! First pay attention to your essay structure. Have a clear understanding about what you need to say in each paragraph. Then construct simple clear sentences.

Let's have a look at your introduction;


.... Here you do not introduce your prompt to the reader which you should do first'
Nowadays, people have two options for their housing needs. Either they can live in apartments or in individual housing units. Some people prefer the apartments while others prefer living in their own individual homes. For me, I prefer living in an apartment. .... with the first two sentences you introduced the topic and then you stated your opinion. So, this is your introduction.

Now you need to justify your opinion in the body paras. So give one reason in each body para and support it with an example;

First, apartments provide their residents with better security. On the other hand, people who live in their own individual houses need to worry about this aspect more. For example, condominium properties are built with many high tech security features such as CCTV cameras, alarm systems, 24 hour security guards etc. Therefore the residents get the full benefit of it. However, the individual houses very rarely have such features installed because of high costs involved with them and face many threats in terms of security.