Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS: Living in modern Apartment or Traditional House - support your choice



SHanafi 120 / 357  
Feb 28, 2014   #1
Hi, all. I am open for comments.

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

These days, many residents in the big city afford the apartment, while the other choose traditional house to live. Personally, I prefer to live in a traditional house, and I want to examine my choice in two reasons.

Firstly, the consideration to choose place of living is based on the economic reason. In the big city, a modern luxurious apartment is unaffordable. So, we can see city inhabitants who are in the middle or low class favors to live in the traditional house. While for wealth people choosing apartment as housing is preferable.

Secondly, choosing place to stay is depended on personal taste. Even though the modern feature and service of apartment simplify the daily duties, some people feel out of their coziness. For example, whether the door locked or not, does not to be afraid because it is automatically tightens, but wake up with morning with bird tweeting exactly unavailable in apartment. However, living in the traditional house with peaceful atmosphere might be a dream of most of city inhabitant. We should be understood it as an effect of city density dissatisfaction. People are bored with traffic, deadlines, and noisy. So, they tend to relax in the traditional house which is complete with green grass.

In my personal view, living in the traditional house is better. My consideration is about sudden natural disaster like earthquake. As we know, when living in the skyscrapers like apartment, it should take long time to came out in such emergency situation whereas the traditional house is better enough than apartment does. Further, the traditional house has uniqueness in design variation in compare with minimalist style or other modern pattern.

In conclusion, while others have a freedom to decide which suitable place for them to live, traditional or modern, I believe that choosing place to stay in is depend on economical ability and personal taste.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 4, 2014   #2
These days, many residents in the big city afford the apartment, while the other choose traditional house to live. Personally, I prefer to live in a traditional house, and I want to examine my choice infor two reasons.

Hey, you have not introduced the topic :(
This is the specimen I do for your;
People have two choices when it comes to select their houses. They can either choose to live in a traditional house or modern apartment. I personally prefer to live in a traditional house for two reasons.

Firstly, the consideration to choose place of living is based on the economic reason.

First, living in a traditional house is more economical.

In the big city, a modern luxurious apartment is unaffordable.

Modern luxurious apartments are generally found in big cities and therefore their prices are affordable to me.
OP SHanafi 120 / 357  
Mar 8, 2014   #3
Hi, xsimio
Yap, I am in line with you. When I read again this sentence

whether the door locked or not, does not to be afraid because it is automatically tightens, but wake up with morning with bird tweeting exactly unavailable in apartment.

quite confusing and about commas using I have to learn more. But overall, thank you for your advice and also the new vocabulary

luscious vegetation

Hi dumi, I just read your comment.
Would you kindly please re check about my understanding about describing topic.
1. In the intro related to topic. I should mention

prefer to live in

but this sentence

many residents in the big city afford the apartment, while the other choose traditional house to live

is not suitable for introducing the topic, am I right ?
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 25, 2014   #4
Yes, it is not delivering the idea you want to convey to the reader. Afford means having enough money to pay for something. Choosing to live in an apartment depends on many factors and money may be one of them. Give more focus to your idea and present it in a simple way so that the reader gets your message better. Do not complicate your sentences with too many inappropriate words.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Living in modern Apartment or Traditional House - support your choice
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳