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Task 2: Living in rural area became choice of most people



Adhisti 20 / 16  
May 7, 2015   #1
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.

What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?


In recent years, life has changed and it is not like it was in the past. Living in rural area became choice of most people because they could know all their neighbors. However, these days and ages, people tend to stay in big cities in which they do not really know other people around them. While these views are utterly true, I would argue that living in a small community has many benefits rather than its drawbacks.

At first glance, city life actually affects to people's lives. People do not even know their neighbors because cities are lack a sense of community. As an example, they are more likely to do their own works than gathering to their societies to obtain togetherness. As a result, there is sometimes a gap between the rich and the poor in the society unconsciously.

On the other hand, people who live in countryside cannot avoid the disadvantage. They are hard to use the advanced technology or to afford communication well in sight of the limited signal. As an example, not all places can catch high signal of the internet or mobile phone. Therefore, there is a challenge in making decision to stay in small villages nowadays.

Despite staying in small community has drawbacks, it gives also an advantage like people help each other when one of inhabitants gains a current calamity. It can be realized by people that they will need helps from other people in unpredictable condition. A study shows that people in a village will be fast to give first aid with friendly behavior when their neighbors obtain the problems. In addition, people become more creative to create new innovation in rural areas. They attempt to build the technology which is related to develop those places. There is no doubt that so as to get more comfortable situation, a small village is option for people.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that living in a small community brings both the benefits such helping each other and the drawbacks like the difficulties to afford the convenient technology. Besides, city life restricts people to be involved in socialized activities. Regardless of the reasons, it is important for people to consider where they will live and socialize in the circumstance.

EF_Carol - / 145  
May 12, 2015   #2
I think your essay is very thoughtful, and well written. Just a couple of comments, however.

People do not even know their neighbors becauus citities are lack a sense of community.

CORRECTED: People don't know their neighbors because cities lack community.

You need to focus on the ideas you want to communicate, and really choose your words. If necessary, condense, as I've done here.

In addition, people become more creative to create new innovation in rural areas.

CORRECTED: In addition, people create more innovations, in rural areas.

You are a little too wordy, and need to subject your writing to more review, before finalizing it. Try not to define a word, with a word. Use commas to add pauses, which allow the reader to breathe.

I think your essay is well structured and allows the reader to form his own opinion. You present both sides of the argument, thoroughly.

Perhaps, however, it might be best if you came to one conclusion, and stuck to it. That could make your writing stronger! If you have an opinion, people may respect you more and take your writing a little more seriously.

In general, good job, though!

efOfcarol


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