I have changed my pattern as per some suggestions in my previous essay. give me more comments in order t my pattern, vocabulary, and idea. thank you.
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. discuss both opinion and give your opinion.
Traveling abroad has been becoming the most popular activity for recent decades. For this reason, some groups of travelers argue that we have to conform to norms in a country destination. Nevertheless, some people are more likely to believe that a host country should be open-minded to be able to take up cultural differences. I am of opinion; a state should promote its cultures to attract other foreign tourists.
Traveling abroad has
been becomingbecome one of the most popular activities foramong people worldwide in the last few recent decades. For this reason, some groups of travelers argue that we have to conform to norms in a country destination (the coherency between opening statement and the following sentence is weak. Sorry that I'm a bit frank I just want to show how you can make your work stronger. You opened the second sentence with "for this reason", which means you are going to talk about facts stem from what you have mentioned in the previous sentence. Do you think popularity of travelling among people leads to that argument? I think the answer is no, and you should have added another sentence between these two to make the adhesion between sentences stronger. For example you could have added that travelling abroad get different people with different cultures together in one single area.) . NeverthelessOn the other hand , some people are more likely to(look up "likely" to realize how to use it) believe that a host country should be open-minded to be able to take upembrace different cultures cultural differences . I am of opinion that a state should promote its culture s to attract other foreign tourists (suggestion: "From my point of view, a country should promote local traditions and cultures with the intent to attract more foreigners and, as a consequence, thrive tourist industries") .
To begin with , what people should follow when they
are in abroadtravel overseas isare customs and traditions which exists inof the host country. This is because when they are doing ain vacation holiday activity in other countries, theyare tend to be involved in the society. According to a popular proverb which says that when you go to Rome, you should do as Romans do(it would be better to use this proverb as a motivator in the introduction) , tourists are encouraged to honor tradition which is regulated in a country when then they travel to the country. Hence, holiday makers should go the extra mile to maintain national cultures which they are destined.
Conversely, a destination country should
opengive foreigners an opportunity to receive other cultures which are brought byintroduce their cultures to them foreigners . In this manner, tourism in the nation can be thrived by receiving other cultures. The evidence of this case is provid inged by a tourism area in Bali, Indonesia (suggestion: "Bali and Indonesia are clear-cut examples of this case.) . As the government allows other values from foreign visitors, the country can take a high profit from the tourism activity (suggestion: "When a country opens doors to all cultures, more people from different countries are provoked to choose that country as their destination for spending their holidays in, bringing revenue to the country as a result.) . Thus, receiving cultural differences is one of the important things which a host country should consider.
Alternatively, a state should promote its local cultures to evoke travelers visit the country. This method can perpetuate traditions in the country while it persuades people to follow the cultures. Take India as an example, by 2012, the council had promoted the cultures to attract visitors. As a result its local cultures have been succeeding to promote the country and foreigners come to India to learn the culture. Besides, India can be easy to thrive the tourism regardless cultural degradation. (Make it clear that this paragraph is all revolving around your own idea)
The aforementioned evidence shows that while tourists should maintain the culture when they do the holiday in the country, it would raise more local income if a nation can receive cultural
variationsdiversity . Additionally, government should preserve local cultures from foreigners by promoting its own culture.
Hope this helps