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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: LOOK AFTER ONE'S HEALTH FOR PERSONAL OR SOCIAL BENEFITS


hgzxz 1 / -  
Sep 27, 2023   #1

taking care of own health



It is argued that people should take care of themselves for their own sake rather than for social responsibility. While a good health condition of an individual can alleviate the burden of the healthcare system, I mostly agree that people caring for their health are beneficiaries who can raise their longevity and obtain more achievements in their lives.

On the one hand, people caring themselves actively can help minimize the government's cost for healthcare. Since the more people are aware of their physical condition and take care of it, the less people are likely to contract contagious diseases. Therefore, the monetary source may be allotted to address other critical social issues such as education or transportation that can enhance people's well-being. For example, during Covid-19 pandemic, there was a high spirit of preventing the transmission of Covid among Vietnamese, which partly helped to minimize the death's toll as well as infected cases. As a result, Vietnamese governments could still spend sources maintaining the economic stability, which ensured the quality of people's lives.

On the other hand, people taking care of themselves are advantageous. Chief of these is that people's lifetime lengthened. Because when people care about their state, they can detect their health problems and have measures to prevent and cure them. For example, patients who are diagnosed with cancer in its early phase by having their medical check regularly will get a higher chance of being curable. Secondly, people may attain their goals easier if they have good health. This is because healthy people are often in their best physical and mental state, which are prerequisites for efficient and strenuous work, thus, they will perform better in work and get a chance of promotion.

In conclusion, while people who are responsible for their physical condition will help to lift up the government's weight, I contend that they will be main beneficiaries due to the possibility to last their longevity and fulfill their lives. It is advisable that people should not only care about their physical state but also be aware of their mentality to improve holistic health.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691  
Oct 8, 2023   #2
This is a single opinion essay. That is why you are being asked about the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the given topic. It is important that you do not contradict your own opinion in the presentation, by supporting both sides in your explanation. Once you do that, your essay will get a failing score due to an unclear presentation of the writer's opinion. If you wish to, you can present what seems to be a positive side in the discussion, but then break down the extent to which you disagree with the presentation. That way you keep within the writing requirements of defending your personal opinion in the essay. That would be the best way for you to show the comparison points in a valid manner to the examiner.


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