The main duty of parents and teachers to make children more sociable in society

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Writing Task 2 (Scoring Test Week-III)

Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment. In addition, the parents and the teachers are the first adult that very close with the child. Thus, both of them should take an action for directing the child being a good member of society.

Actually, the parents can do their roles through giving the child opportunity in being pro-social or fast responses towards every people that needs help in nearby of the child. First, surely the parents should show them a real example as the role models for children. For example, the parents usually active in any-social activity such as working together with other society in around their house every weekend. Parents can asks their children to join with them. Indirectly, through this simple attitude, the parents have been taught their children to be socialize and increase their ability in social interaction.

On the other hand, the teachers also have same position as important as the parents. For example, the teachers can educate the child to improves their social responsibility since early by anything of extra-curriculum activities. By doing some activity as being the member of scout team, can give the challenge to the child for makes them become more sociable. Because the children as being the students in the school also needs for making social group not only in the class but also in outside of the school. With become a member of scout, the child will be more practice in give help to other people directly and immediately can build up the social character to the children in society.

All in all, with giving support towards children for build them being active person in social relationship is the main duty of the parents and also the teachers to create these thing grow from inside of the child self.

(330 words)

Hi SarlindaDS_27, let me give some comments on yours

1. Nobody in this world can liveslive alone
after modal is infinitive, so lives should be changer to infinitive ---> live

2. ...without createcreating social relationship ...
because there is a verb before this sentence, so to avoid double verb, change create to another form, for instance 'crearing'

3. ... the first adult that are very close with the child ...
after conjunction 'that', verb is needed, therefore I give verb 'are'

thank you

INTRODUCTION
your introduction is too bulky. Do not compose it too detail since all of those details are supposedly mention in body paragraph. Keep your introduction simple but still showing your understanding of the question by fully, but briefly presented, what the task response ask to write.

you may just write like this:
Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think both parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment and being a good member of society.

BODY PARAGRAPH
overall, the way you composed your body paragraphs is good despite of accuracy and sentence function issue that you need to concern since it may cause problem for reader on understanding what you write about.However, you did not emphasize your own perspective relating to the issues here so your writing do not fully address the task response

CONCLUSION
I can catch your idea and it simple to, but surely the way you produce your sentence should be concerned since it really makes it hard to comprehend. You do get the nice flow of writing then.

Good Luck