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[Writing task 1] The main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.

huydaoquang 1 / -  
Oct 15, 2023   #1

phone usage in one african country

The pie charts indicate the main purposes for teenagers using smartphones in an African country from 2016 to 2019.
Overall, it is clear that most teens have used their phones for social networking over the past four years. In contrast, they rarely used the phone for phone calling as their main reason.

Looking at the pie charts more closely, one can see that the proportion of people who thought that they used mobile phones for social networking was highest, accounting for 50% in 2016, decreased slightly to 48% in 2017, and increased significantly to 56% in 2019. By contrast, the figures for phone calling were the lowest; they contributed 10% in 2016, grew minimally to 13% in 2018, and dipped sharply to 5% in 2019. On the other hand, around 15% and 25% of teens used smartphones for photographing and emailing in 2016, respectively. The photographing ones surged remarkably to 20% over a period of 4 years, while the emailing ones fell notably to 19% in 2019.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691  
Oct 25, 2023   #2
When you summarize your presentation, make sure to indicate that the pie charts are individually assigned to each year being discussed. That portion of this presentation was quite confusing to me, as an examiner, I would not give you extra points for not being clear about how the image is being used in the presentation. It did not clarify things for me.

The other problem I found with this presentation was the format. You need to present 3 paragraphs for the task 1 essay composed of:

First analysis
Second analysis

You accidentally compressed the second paragraph where it could have been divided into 2 presentation points. The contrasting point should have been a separate presentation paragraph.

Home / Writing Feedback / [Writing task 1] The main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.